Iga no Sanchou
by Catchandelier
Summary: The older the clan, the crazier the amount of bullshit you can do. There were ninjas before the Sage, after all. A drabble-fic in twenty-five chapter arcs, thirteen arcs total. Hold on to your burn cream, kiddies. (We're going straight to hell!)
1. Evidence

There is a **thing-** that happens to souls over centuries. We'll call it flaking. In short, bits of soul flake off like skin from a particularly dandruff-ridden scalp onto the shoulder of centuries. Religions the world over might disagree on the exact nature of the almighty forces that govern the world and all its workings, but there is more or less an agreement on the fact that all souls of all things possessing souls- what exactly possesses a soul and what, exactly, doesn't being an entirely different prospect- are accounted for. That is, every soul that exists is registered. Counted. What then, of the bits that flake off in the course of centuries' wear and tear?

They must be fetched back, of course.

This is all, well, conjecture. But, if you want evidence- look at what is there. What you can observe. Demons are very real- the sun rises in the east, and demons come from the west; spirits roam the lands. Fetches swallow bits of soul that have flaked off into the world and bring them back to be sorted and restored and recirculated as centuries permit.

But, as they say, Shit Happens.

On a completely different note, the initial evidence for the lineage of a set of triplets born in the Land of Rivers- which used to be the Land of Rain, but that was before the Second War- on the edge of Wind Country, is not terribly apparent. Born on the eve of a war, hard luck, hard luck, but Nadeshiko was paid well by the ninja man, too trusting Leaf nin- her mother was right. He'd paid her to keep notes on the area, keep watch for him, paid well indeed- he'd bought out her contract and paid her for a year's work, paid her twice over- she'd swindled him quite well, spent a night's pleasure with him, and now she was paying a price for it. It was not a price so terrible, no, not at all; and Nadeshiko is her mother's daughter in all things.

The pain of that evening is indescribable later- then, it is all she can do to remain silent, to obey the old woman's creaking voice and push, push, roll her hips and push and open a window, please, _she can't BREATHE-_

When it is done, she has not one but three. They have- well, they will have, as right now they look like bloody screaming jellybeans- white hair. Bright white hair.

And one of them- the one that was born first, and the weakest of them- has just been struck by lightning. She's still attached to her mother by the cord that grows in such cases- somehow, the mother and her sisters are unharmed.

Somehow, she is unharmed.

But she is not unchanged.

No.

Not unchanged.

(Unnoticed are the Wind and the Rain that come with the Bolt from Heaven. They're always there, in that border town- why should that day be any different? Though it was. Different.)


	2. I'm here

Triplets are like, and unlike twins. They share a strange and supernatural bond, like twins- but they are not twins. They can't be twins. There are three of them. Fraternity plays a role- you can have two of one and one of the other, that is. But not in this case. No, here, they are all one and the same- physically. And, were it not for a lucky strike, they would be even more so.

As it is, the oldest, Raiko, has hair that curls and snarls, and spurns the advances of her mother's efforts to tame it. She cries the most, red mouth opened wide and wailing, faint sparks flying off her hair- _blue fire strike out-_ and inside her is sleeping, is squalling something ancient and wise and too entirely big for her little body. She screams and she wails and she is half crazy, mad and screaming with pain and her mother, it is only her poor and working mother- her mother who is traveling by night and moving them away from Amegakure- who can soothe her.

Her sisters can soothe her for a time, wrapped as they are tight to her skin, small bundles of soothing air and cooling water but she needs her mother to sleep through the night. Well. Through the day, considering what her mother does during the night.

Shadow flitting through the trees and balancing a bundle of three on it's breast. Darting, darting, never seen, never noticed.

Iga.


	3. Funeral

On her deathbed, Nadeshiko's mother, Natsume, revealed to her the history of their clan. Clans.

The Iga and the Koga, as far as can be remembered, hail from the Land of Demons, far to the west. It is a strange and mountainous place, filled with spires of stone like fingers poking up from the earth and stabbing into clouds- smaller, wispier clouds weave through like strands of hair. It is said that the Tengu, those god-beasts from which Shinobi gained their original arts- before the Sage of Six Paths walked the earth, there were Tengu, and after the Sage, there were Tengu, and it is from them that the Clans learned their skills, so long ago.

Who would notice a shadow of a tree, or the stone on the mountain? No one.

Natsume, in her old age, had forgotten which clan she was from. Forgotten, even, her daughter's name- called her Kagome (Kikiyo, Midoriko, remember how to fly away), called her San (wolf girl, wolf princess), called her "cousin", "auntie", "little sister", "mother"- but she told her. Of their family's past- their skill as ninjas in the truest fashion, of the age before the Daimiyo's, when the Emperor of Heaven still walked this earth. Gone now, of course- but it had been.

And they had survived by remaining hidden, from all that would see them. Tengu, even when the true tengu, so old and powerful, died out and vanished in a world grown too mad and bloodthirsty for their kind of night.

In her old age, on the bed of her death, Natsume, mother to Nadeshiko, apologized as best she could for training her daughter to be a fine kunoichi. A ninja in the most subtle of ways. As her clans would have named her- a Tengu.

Over the years of her training, Nadeshiko was taught all the skills her mother still knew and could teach of the Iga and the Koga- tree walking, water walking, ninjutsu, genjutsu, taijutsu, kyujutsu, seduction arts, poisons, medicines, manners and deportment. Forgery. Mathematics. Arts. Sciences. Everything she could burn into her daughter's soul she did, regardless of the harm she did her daughter.

There, on the eve of her death, with her last rasping breaths, she apologized to her daughter for treating her so… and rasped out the history that she hoped would live on in her daughter's veins.

She died without ever actually saying "I am sorry" to her daughter.

Nadeshiko is contemplating her heritage, her mother, and her daughters as she darts, quiet and forgettable- forgotten- through the haze and screams of a battle field. Leaves fighting Stones, and neither side notices her dark form darting through the blood and ash stained lands. In that moment, of being unnoticed as all Iga and Koga ninja were, are, must be- in that moment, when protecting her daughters is more important than hiding, because of course those Stone ninja have a sensor with them, of course they do- in that moment of battle rage and decisive action, Nadeshiko realizes that she is, above all, grateful to her mother for teaching her as she did.

She also has the time to curse the gods for allowing a group of Leaf ninja to stumble across her when she's too tired to fight or flee.

Still. Of all her prospects, joining Konohagakure during the calm before a war is perhaps her least onerous. And deadly.

So she did.


	4. Mother Love

Mother love is a killer. Everyone knows that. Nadeshiko didn't know she'd get five years minimum to raise her children without running a mission outside Fire Country- she's getting special leniency because she's not from Konoha, not a Leaf sprung straight from the branch, but she can't help but be grateful- she's not a heavy combat ninja anyway, what use would she be in a war? Of course, no one's actually _at war yet_ but it's coming, she knows it is- Mother taught her to look for such things, and she's never been wrong yet.

She paints the clan seals onto her daughters half a year into her stay in Konoha; the Iga and the Koga weren't known for anything because they could hide so well, a "gift of the blood" her mother had called it, and the scrolls in her mother's trunks were very clear about what could be done to her daughters if they were not sealed.

Multiple children from one breeding runs in the blood. So does being able to hide so very well.

The Iga seals will destroy their bodies upon death- turn them from flesh and blood into water and dirt, vanishing their humanity into nothing but the world. The Koga seals will protect them from harm- a specific and damning harm, one that women face more-so than men, rape. The Koga seal masters of ages gone had been women, and they had not approved of their sister-kin going into the world unguarded. The seal would turn the would-be rapist's chakra to flames, burn them to ashes from the inside out.

Six months is when the seals must be inked, is when Natsume inked Nadeshiko; is when Nadeshiko inks Raiko, Kirara, and Yayoi. They can tell the difference between her and the genin- prefer her to the genin. And so, they can tell the difference between someone who will care for them, and someone who means them harm.

She leaves a very stern warning in the mission parameters about her daughters' protection, and how mental focus is important. No one dies, thankfully.

For her daughters- Raiko, Kirara, and Yayoi- the seals seem to… settle them, into the world. Raiko starts being able to go longer and longer without her mother there, for long enough that Nadeshiko can risk going on longer and longer missions, can risk leaving her precious daughters with teams of genin. Kirara starts to gurgle and babble like a baby should, though her eyes will never quite be human. And Yayoi doesn't fade into the background anymore.

And then her daughter's Marks come in, and she cannot leave them to grow untempered any longer.

* * *

><p>Natsume, Mother, had been raised in Wind Country (had fought in the First War before it was)- and so, for the first time since she was a girl, Nadeshiko adorns herself with veils, dull browns and soft, faded greens, dark blues splotched together underneath. Invisible and shy, but she needs a name- and so she picks one.<p>

Iga. If she ever has sons, they will be the Koga. She writes out her Clan's laws, it's workings, it's… history. It's legacy.

Condenses her knowledge into scrolls and poetry, books and folktales.

(A tree and a girl who ate from it, and a boy who loved her, the sage who walked the earth and his two sons-)

A lull-a-bye she sings her daughters every time she can, because her five year's limit is coming faster and faster- and then it is upon her, and she's written everything she could.

_(And who are you, the same as I; must I now bow so low? _

_Only a cat of a different coat, that's all that's true I know. _

_For a coat of brown or a coat of blue; a cat will still have claws, _

_And mine are cool and sharp, my love, as cool and sharp as yours. _

_And so we spoke, and so we spoke, the Koga and the Iga, _

_But now the rains weep o'er our halls, with no one there to hear. _

_Yes now the rains weep o'er our halls, and not a soul to hear. )_

Her bingo book page reads something like this- and bingo books change with every war. It's the first time an Iga has ever graced it's black covered pages. It's the first time anyone has known an Iga or a Koga to exist.

Iga Natsume, tokubetsu jonin of Konoha. Infiltration and Sabotage specialist.

Wears a brown, green, and blue veil. Has black eyes, pale skin.

Has completed 50 D-rank, 35 C-rank, 10 B-rank, 25 A-rank, 86 S-rank missions.

Wanted by Iwagakure, Takigakure, Mizugakure for the theft of information. If spotted, kill on sight.

She dies before her daughters are five years old. Poison. Ambush. The details blur together.

Her thankfulness that her daughters- her dear, sweet daughters- know enough of her, and have enough of her family and their arts, to survive, to learn, to become credits to their clans- the Clans- makes her passing, if not peaceful, without overly many regrets.

Iga Nadeshiko breathed her last breath during the very first days of the Third Shinobi war. She remembers writing a letter to who must have been her daughter's father- remembers sending it.

Sealed it with her- with their daughter's blood, so only he- or her- could open it. Chakra is a funny thing sometimes, and why a bond between parents and children should be more important that an actual key is beyond her understanding of the esoteric nature of Nature.

The precautions Nadeshiko took to ensure the safety of her daughters and their father will have to be enough.

(It is.)


	5. Gloves

Raiko wears gloves. It is a fact of the young Iga's lives. Kirara likes to sit as high as she can, Yayoi is the very best at hiding, and Raiko always wears gloves. They are bright red and possibly meant for use in things of a baking nature, but they are Raiko's and she wears them every day.

For all their posturing, the Iga girls are actually very sweet children. It is for this reason that they've banned all Inuzuka and Aburame from ever babysitting them. Raiko insisted after what almost happened to Tsume-san's partner, Kuromaru, and to Shibi-san. She was all of three at the time- still, her mother listened to her reasoning, agreed, and added it to the mission parameters.

All of them are to wear veils until they become Jonin in their own right. Clan law, that.

One of the genin who have to watch them is loud and wears orange goggles. Raiko likes him, but not enough to take off her gloves because it's _dangerous_ Uchiha-san, please leave them alone. He doesn't.

He doesn't die, thankfully, but there's a scar like a handprint on his bicep for the rest of his life.


	6. Blackboard

Kirara doesn't realize that she's smart. It's strange- she knows the most kanji out of all her sisters, and all of them can read quite well, but- Kirara's the one who can read the seals. The ones over their hearts, that is. They look like flames and bits of feather and cloud, like mountains burning from the inside.

Kirara is the one who starts thinking about how to make it so that Raiko can touch things without her gloves. Yayoi has the best handwriting; Raiko is the one who figures out that they'll need a place for all her… flares, to go.

Of all the Iga girls, Kirara is the one who cares the most about her family before she'll deign to care about anyone else.

There's a wall in their house, one that the perpetual genin don't see- it was made for them by their mother, painted black. A metal can full of white chalk sticks, and all of them together write and figure, figure and write. Mathematics. Science. Art.

A seal that is like, and not like, another, different seal- but if Raiko had a demon inside of her, there would be a great many people dead instead of merely singed.


	7. Muse

The clans had three specific goddesses who presided over their sealmasters- each one tasked with carrying a specific portion of the Memory of Time.

The story of gods and demons and heroes, the accounts of history, songs for the dead, words from the living, the screamings of fate and the laughter of chance, prayers to the greater gods; music people and stars danced to.

Three goddesses the sisters pray to, goddess of stars, goddess of earth, goddess of sun. Three and only three- all other gods are ignored.

Curiously enough, the goddess of the moon is said to have been slain by the first of their clan. Funny- a rabbit, killed by a crow.


	8. Magic

It's not magic. Sealing isn't magic at all. It's mathematics and barriers and cold, unflinching rules and how far can they bend the concept of a barrier until it does what they want. It's a puzzle with pieces that have to be invented on the go, and perfection in handwriting comes at a loss of efficiency.

Looking good is just as important as being good. Yayoi has a natural talent for writing the seals with brush and ink. Kirara needs to sew them down. Raiko can place hers with a touch.

Raiko's are the best.


	9. Clean

To date, the Iga Triplets have destroyed: 57 wooden ink pots, 14 writing tables, 59 brushes, and 70 reams of bleached archival paper.

Yayoi does not scar. Kirara does not scar. Raiko has only one scar from the sister's endeavors to learn sealing. She covers it with a wristband.

The only part of the house that isn't perpetually clean is their study, where the girls practice sealing. It's one of the few places in the house that the perma-genin teams assigned to watch over them aren't allowed to enter, ever.

Their house smells like bleach and artificial flowers, always- always after a cleaning. After the genin teams finish cleaning their house- weren't asked, nothing wrong with their house- Kirara opens the sliding panel wall and lets the crosswinds through, taking all the hospital-clean stench with it.

The study is the only place that still smells like their mother left in the house.


	10. Secret

There were two secrets in the letter Iga Nadeshiko sent to Jiraiya no Sannin. (She called him Jiraiya no Koga in her head- just to herself. But that wasn't the secret, or written down anywhere, so she took it to her grave.)

The secrets were, in order, where his daughters were, and what he had to do to keep them safe.

The dreadful mathematics of necessity being what they are, Nadeshiko forbid Jiraiya from contacting his daughters- forbid him from even admitting he had daughters. He understood why instantly, of course. He hadn't expected a letter from her so soon, honestly- and, in fact, he got two, the first being a summary of all the information she had managed to… "acquire" in her missions for Konoha, all her suspicions and figuring about what was to come- everything he had asked of her, and a great deal more.

Jiraiya got Nadeshiko's letters after her death; the first being a veritable tome of information he had suspected, known, and hadn't known- but seeing it all laid out so neatly made him wonder if he shouldn't consider getting closer to Iga-san, bring her closer to his hand. Her second letter strangled those half-born dreams- and so he was informed, summarily, of the protections she had placed around their children. A secret inside a secret is well hidden indeed- and to anyone who would find that letter, it would appear to be a quietly desperate missive begging for him to watch over a fellow comerade's daughters.

The Sandaime knew about the outer secret- Jiraiya, being the Konoha spymaster, had agents all over the world, and Iga Nadeshiko was one of the very best spies to ever come to, or from, Konoha. It is not so strange, therefore, that she would ask her boss to watch over her children.

He will wonder, later, how he could have been so blind.


	11. Superstition

The Iga clan moved into Konoha about five years ago, is whispered through the markets of Konoha. Those daughters of Iga-san's are sure to bring misfortune, mutter aunties. Filthy kunoichi whore of a clan head, grumble young women who will never be married.

What kind of ninja clan are the Iga, anyway? Mutters through the village, like wasps in the trees. None of the other clans associate with them, hisses on the wind. Never heard of them, grumble uncles in bars.

Who's to say if they even exist at all.

And the Iga girls wear their veils and never even hint they know about anything at all.


	12. Fantasy

The ninja academy system of Fire Country is there to take young children and turn them into soldiers that will obey orders in the heat of battle and use powerful spells to destroy their enemies.

Raiko, Kirara, and Yayoi already know a great deal of what is being taught at the Konoha academy. The only thing they don't know… is who their comrades are.

And then they meet a boy named Uchiha Itachi. Fate, as they say, will not be denied.

What can be said about the meeting of the Iga heirs and the Uchiha heir? Actually, the explanation for why the Iga have more than one heir is quite important.

Nadeshiko took the pragmatic approach to clan-building. As such, she wrote into clan law the rules regarding inheritance and clan management. All children are counted by their mother's pregnancy, not the order of their birth- making her three daughters fathered by Jiraiya the only heirs she could ever have had.

This fact infuriates no less than a thousand different people in subtle ways every day. This fact is also why the change wrought in Uchiha Itachi at the Konoha academy could not, in all honesty, be undone- because the friends he made at the academy were politically equal to him.

They were also prodigious in their own right, but it would be some time before the truth of that statement would be widely known.


	13. Test

I'm not as smart as my sisters. Not with… the Seals. I don't know why that is. I guess you could say that I'm the least of my sisters. The least interesting. The least important. The least… everything.

Which is why I don't really understand why they both follow my lead so often. I mean- we're all the heirs to the clan, but I don't understand why Raiko and Kirara decided I should be the leader of all three of us!

I especially don't understand why they agreed to make Uchiha Itachi our friend. Before, we had always been content to be- together. We trained together, cooked together, fought together, slept in the same bed- were one of us went, the others were sure to follow. For whatever reason, I lead the most out of all three of us, and I lead us to Uchiha Itachi.

Getting him to play is a chore though- as in, we have to make it sound like training before he will. He's not stupid, though- when we called hide-n-seek tag "advanced evasion, stealth, and capture training" he agreed so fast I was worried- for a second I thought he'd choke.

Then I was kinda annoyed with him because… well… he's terrible at this! He's so… slow!

But he's gotten better, over three months or so. I guess he's worth being our friend. Maybe now he won't be so damn sad all the time.


	14. Tease

Teasing. I think that's what it's called. What they're doing to me. They told me that we were friends one day, and that was it. But I don't know what friends are, or what they're for- it doesn't seem like something a ninja would need.

When I told this to them in objection to our spending time together, they told me that we were learning each other's personality traits in the event of an infiltrator. I was then dragged on a pranking spree.

They sit next to me in class and do projects with me, and they invite themselves over to my house and do their homework in the study with me.

Raiko has very curly hair, and a slow, measured way of speaking, like she thinks of each word specifically and arranges each sentence in her head just so before letting it out of her mouth and into the world. For all that she talks less than an Aburame, she's got the loudest presence of her sisters, and a strange, almost… crackling sense of humor. She wears a bright red veil, and a black face mask underneath it.

Kirara is mercurial in her moods, with a soft, breathy voice. She draws the best pictures I've ever seen, and likes to hide in very hard to reach places. I don't know how she gets so high up all the time. She has the largest vocabulary of all of us, and can read things almost the first time she sees them. She wears a bright blue veil, and a black face mask underneath it. She also runs very fast.

Yayoi is my best friend. She's very even tempered, and not prone to outbursts of any kind. She comprehends things as fast as I can, and she notices things I can't- I know she can do genjutsu, but I've never quite managed to catch her at it. She wears a bright yellow veil, and when she's hiding I can only find her if she lets me. She wears bright yellow!

They also keep stealing my clothing and I don't know how. I'm wearing it when they take it- how do they keep doing that?!

I guess… honestly, if this is what teasing is… I think… I don't mind it at all


	15. Storm

The Kyuubi, when it came, was like- was like a memory, faint but violent, burning in the back of my head. Of being something- other. Than what I was.

I remembered being so fast. So bright. I remember my strike, relentless.

Of that awful day? I remember Yayoi taking Sasuke-chan from 'Tachi-kun, remember Kirara dragging me and him along the streets turned red and screaming. I remember screaming until I couldn't. The taste of blood in my mouth. I remember the sight of the Uchiha district, burning.

So many people died.

It was like a storm, a hurricane, earthquakes in sequence. Fire. Of the Uchiha clan, only our friend, Itachi-kun, his older cousins, Shisui and Obito, and his little brother, Sasuke, survived the Kyuubi's attack.

Itachi because we made him run. Sasuke because Yayoi took him. Obito because he was at a border patrol. Shisui because he was on the front.

Yayoi because she took Sasuke and ran.

Me because Kirara took my hand and ran.

If she hadn't… would I have lived?

Or would I have stayed and watched the lighting strike?


	16. Strawberries

It's strange. That day when the Kyuubi came, I don't remember dragging Itachi and Raiko back home. I don't remember Yayoi grabbing Sasuke and running. I don't remember following her. I don't even remember very much about the attack- just the impression of fear stink in every alleyway and anger in the sky.

I remember we were out of strawberry jam. I had meant to buy some, because that was Itachi's favorite and he was coming over to hang out, finally, we'd been asking him for half a year- but then.

There was more than one store that sold it, but he only liked one kind, just one- had the seeds strained out, almost shockingly sweet; it was sold in the Uchiha district.

The Uchiha district is gone now.

I wonder if I can learn to make strawberry jam?

Hell, I wonder if strawberries will grow in the garden…


	17. Weapon

The slingshot isn't a terribly frightening weapon. I'm not entirely sure what Kirara or Yayoi are using, but I know I'm not big enough to carry around the Iga Longbow yet. I will be, one day, but not yet.

I've only just gotten big enough to put the string on it- I'm a ways from being big enough to draw it.

I'll get there.

The bow is made of a hardwood from the land of Demons and sheep's horn- it's… ancestral, I guess. The arrows are thin, and light- they spin clockwise and counter clockwise depending on gender. I'm practicing putting seals on them with just a touch- I think it'll have to be when I take them from the quiver. I don't want to leave clan seals just lying around. I also don't really want to shoot plain white-feathered arrows- but I don't want to kill fancier birds just for their feathers. That's cruel.

Thank the Three that turkey feathers are so cheap to get from the Akimichi clan, is all I can say.

I think mother meant the bow for me- she took it out when we'd just come to Konoha. I know she had to fix her old bow with a ram's horn- she brought her herd of ninhitsuji with her during the move with some kind of Iga specific sealing style, and it's our duty as heirs to raise and mind them. It's from them I get my bow's power- and in the eyes of the clan, we became women grown when we started taking care of the herds; in the eyes of the village, we won't be adults until we have headbands with a plate of dull metal on it.

There's a glade in front of our house that they spend the winter in, but most of the time they live in the rocky woods around our house. Flowers grow in the glade, and wild herbs too. Mostly we get fresh vegetables from the raised beds just outside our house- there's a well there too, and a big trough that has to be filled every day, first thing in the morning.

We have to milk some of the sheep too, but I can't do that job.

There are lots of things I can't do for safety's sake.

They're big animals- well, furry, I guess. We mostly wear wool clothing, because mother was very specific in how we were supposed to dress and behave. The sheep-ka-san's tell us how to shear and spin their wool, how to make it lie smooth and fine fine fine, so fine a bolt of fabric woven right can be pulled through the eye of a needle.

I don't have the patience for weaving, but I can spin the finest wool thread in the world.

I'm good with making dyes too, but I can't actually dye the thread myself- well, I can, it's just… easier and faster if someone else does it. Then again, no one else can do what I can with colors, so I guess I'm the one who does the dyeing around here.

Sasuke-chibi likes his new blanket. I think Itachi likes his new coat too, but I'm not very good at telling what other people feel. Hell, I'm not good at telling what _I _feel. Itachi smiled but he also looked like he was going to cry when we gave him his new coat- it's bigger, and the Uchiha district down in the village mostly burnt down, especially his house, so he needed lots of new things. We have enough clothing for several armies in all kinds of sizes, so he's wearing our stuff now.

It's strange though. It's like… he can't see our clan symbol. Although, it is kinda hard to see- he could just think it's a pattern. I'm not allowed to point it out to him, though. Clan Law.

I think Sasuke-chibi likes it when I sing lull-a-byes to him. He always falls asleep for me the fastest. Obito-kun does too, but I think that's just Obito-kun.

Is it wrong of me to be happy that they're living with us now, even though… no. I don't think it is. I can be happy and sad at the same time.


	18. Beach

It's strange. I never thought I'd like anywhere in the village as much as the Uchiha district, but the Iga clan's home- it's really a fort- is… wonderful. They've got this weird setup where the kitchen is almost it's own separate house from the bedrooms, and a library, and a study- which none of us are allowed into, ever. They also started sleeping in different parts of the house recently, which is new. I remember when our team got the mission to watch them, they all slept in one room, together. Now, Kirara sleeps in the top room of the Tower, Raiko sleeps in one of the side-rooms near the woods, and Yayoi has their old room.

Heh, the scar Raiko gave me still tingles sometimes. Usually right before a thunderstorm…

They have this… lake-thing? It's like a reservoir, but not- too small. Anyway, it's got all this sand on one side, with these huge boulders plopped down together, like discarded peanut shells. I go out there at night and sit, and I watch the stars move on the water. It's really… peaceful.

When I was little, my Aunt and Uncle took me to the beach. It was… I think that was the happiest time I ever spent with them. When I sit out there on those rocks, I can remember it better than anything else. I think- I think that's what I want to remember about my clan, my family- not our accomplishments, but that feeling I had on the beach when I was just a kid.


	19. Lost

The funeral for the Uchiha Clan was attended by every prominent clan of Konoha. It was held several months after the Kyuubi attack.

By the new year in February, Sasuke is being watched by his Godmother, Kushina, when his older brother Itachi is at the Academy with the us. Obito threw himself into learning how to be the best ninja he could. He's different, now that he's one of the only people who can uphold the Uchiha name. Shisui is trying not to run himself ragged by taking missions, but he's currently the only chunin in the Uchiha clan.

I've talked him out of going for Jonin just yet- he might get higher paying missions, but those are inherently unsteady. Chunin's get paid less for longer- you can raise children as a chunin where you can't as a jonin. He agreed with me eventually.

I have to talk to my sisters, and then to my best friend, Itachi- he's the head of his clan now. My sisters follow me already, so they shouldn't have too much problem with what I want- but Itachi might. It's just- I don't think Itachi understands what I, we, mean when we tell him we have to do something because of Clan Law.

I don't think he's put it together that if we're obliged to do things we don't enjoy- like wear veils, or care for the stupid sheep, or wear the _fucking woolen clothing of a trainee_ then- if we have to do the things we don't want, we're also forbidden from doing things we _do_ want to do. Like expand the monies we get from Mother's estate to support the Uchiha's.

If they were nominally part of our clan, we could do that. If we _hire them as guards_, we can do that too.

Our clans were very proud. I think.

Or just very very cheap.


	20. Cry

When I moved in with the Iga clan, I wasn't sure what to expect. I didn't know that they lived in an old Senju garrison, but- they do. There's almost no sign that the garrison used to be a Senju garrison either- it's all covered in tapestries and soft pallets to sit in. No Senju clan symbols _anywhere._ That said, I can't say I've seen the Iga clan symbol. Or maybe… I just haven't noticed it?

When we moved in, we got to pick any room in the fort we wanted to stay in, all four of us- I thought for sure they'd make us use the old bunkroom, but that's actually a stillroom now.

I was still- raw, from… the Tenth, so- so I was kind of rude, and I said- no, I was very rude. I demanded the Tower room.

Kirara is- hard for me to describe. It's not that she's easy to ignore- it's that she's hard to notice. She doesn't really have toys or anything like that- none of them do. When I demanded her room, I honestly didn't realize that she lived in it; I just thought it was a weird offshoot of the library.

It wasn't. It was Kirara's room. Which… makes more sense than I'd realized at the time. That girl- I swear, if she had wings, she'd fly away.

I got a room I'm pretty sure used to be a storage room, but- it's. Really nice. I can put everything I still- have- onto shelves, and… and I know that there's no one here who's going to try and… do anything. To me.

I'm glad Yayoi talked me out of trying for jonin right now- even if could do it right now, it makes more sense. Not to.

Even so- I don't think I've ever seen Itachi cry. Not like he did when Yayoi told him what would have to happen for the Iga clan to help the Uchiha clan like they wanted to. I've never seen Itachi hug anyone- not even his mother- quite the way he hugged Yayoi. Obito grabbed my arm and took me from the room, Raiko on his heels. Sasuke was in Kirara's arms, and all of us left Fort Iga and settled on the beach by their run-off pond.

I'm glad. Itachi and Yayoi- there's something between them, something I don't think I've seen before. They deserve their time together, like this- as they are, now.

They won't get very much of it, I'm afraid.


	21. Aloof

Everyone thinks Itachi is a cold jerk of a genius. He's not. If he was, I couldn't be his best friend.

I don't know why everyone thinks Itachi is so cold. I guess most people just… never see him with his little brother. He's so bright and sweet with him, it makes me feel all…

I mean, he is a little slow to understand that we like him because he's _Itachi-kun_, not because he's an Uchiha.

Also, I'm stuck with Kirara.


	22. Blood

I've been sewing so much lately, my fingertips are more like… like mincemeat than finger. I've put spots of blood onto almost everything I've been sewing.

I swear- one day I'm watching Sasuke hold his own bottle and drink his own milk from it's teat all by himself, the next, he's crawling and babbling, the next, he's walking and talking- and he's outgrowing his clothing at an exponential rate.

I desperately hope that I can keep finding the time to put Uchiha crests on Iga clothing. No one's really noticed our clan symbol, which is for the best. The Uchiha uchiwa-mon is so much more… visible, than ours is.

Still. That doesn't mean for one second that I lack pride in my blood. I also can't say that Sasuke-chibi won't have pride in his blood- so I'll make the time to sew his patches on. And one day… actually, no. I think today, after dinner, I'll start teaching him how to sew. Then, he can put his own patches onto his clothes.


	23. Tower Block

And that's the last one. The last paper I have to sign.

The former Uchiha district is now to be a series of tower-block style apartment buildings. The Uchiha clan still owns the land they'll be sitting on, and future kinsmen of mine will have first pick of the apartments there- but. I'm the one who signed the papers that allowed those buildings to be built.

I expected- something. Bile, to rise in my throat- those are lands that have been occupied by my clan since the founding of Konoha. Anger, at having to leave the last vestige of my home behind- but there's nothing left of my home. Of my parents.

Nothing left but graves.

Not even our family's shrine made it out- the entire Naka river that ran through the district was diverted by the Kyuubi's attack. It's running a completely different course now- it starts and ends in the same places, but… but the shrine's underwater. Whatever was in there- and something was in there- it's not important enough for me to try and find out. Not against Naka-hime's claws.

The only thing I really feel is… relief.


	24. Taxi

These past two years have been interesting to watch- my little cousin and my nephews have been growing like weeds. I've made chunin.

The Iga girls have been growing like weeds too. If I hadn't babysat them so many times, I'd swear they were teenagers- but they're not yet seven.

Raiko has carried a slingshot since the Kyuubi; her aim with it is lethal. She's also put in blood, sweat, and tears to learn to use the Iga clan's kyujutsu- she's not quite as good with the bow as she is with her slingshot, but I put that up to her recent string of growth spurts, not lack of skill or practice. When she trains for hours, I can see a sort of… silence, in her eyes. Like whatever flashes behind her eyes, during her long silent days- whatever's there goes silent and still when she's shooting. She's starting to be able to call up that inner silence whenever she wants it- I wonder what she'll be, when she can look someone in the eyes all silent inside.

Kirara's made a tapestry for each of us- Sasuke-chibi really likes his, with it's Amaterasu, Susanoo, and Tsukiyomi battling Yama, king of the dead. She's also started making herself… something. I don't know what it is. I do know that she's been very interested in dead birds for some time. She's also taken up carving. Honestly, I don't know what goes on inside of her head sometimes. Very high up is still the best place to find her, no matter what time of day or night it is.

If Yayoi were any sharper, she'd cut herself. If she loved Itachi any more than she does, I'd say they were going to get married. Shit, they might get married anyway. She has a thing for genjutsu and healing.

So does he.

They've all got no small skill with sealing- well, no, Itachi's mind doesn't make leaps in quite the same way the Iga girls do, and Sasuke is just… too impatient. I kind of want to introduce the Iga girls to Minato-sensei… but he's really busy now with being the Hokage and with Kushina and little Naruto-chan.

Still. It'll be interesting to see what they become. Considering how they've spent these past two years, I don't doubt that they'll be something magnificent to see.


	25. Search

I've found it.

In my two years of work- obsession, honestly- I've been searching for the perfect collection of birds to base my… ambition on. I'm working out the patterns, and I'd rather just use the feathers of actual birds to base my seal-patches on. No need to reinvent the wheel.

I've discarded most of the smaller birds I can get my hands on- sparrows and finches are too… small. They don't fly the way I want them to- they're perfectly nice birds, just, their feather's aren't… what I want. Hummingbirds are much too small, but the one I found out in the sheep-glade is special, somehow; it has interesting things going on with it's shoulders and it's wing-muscles, and the ability to hover is something- I might not exactly desire it, but I won't turn it away. It'd be useful for a safety measure, at the very least. I can't make them not hum, though- not in their base state, which is annoying. I thought a hawk would be what I wanted, but the peregrine falcon is only half right- it's got the high speed I want, and the internal mechanics to make high speed flights non-lethal. The patterning on it's feathers, however, is something I very much admire- I think that's something I can keep.

It's what I found last week that's gotten me so excited- a raven, approximately the same size as my falcon. I've already made the humming undersuit- it keeps me from falling, even though the first time I ever tried to use it, it… didn't work.

I kind of… had to jump off a cliff to make it work.

And it works.

The humming sound it made when it activated was not terribly loud- but it's louder than I wanted it to be. There are Iga seals for silence- they modify easily into the hummingbird seals. Once they do, it's not hard to make a hawk's overcoat.

I black out the first time I use the overcoat- thankfully, the undersuit kept me from taking a permanent dirt nap. That's when I made the mask- well. Masks.

I think I burned through like- seventy? Seventy-five? Different iterations of my Karasu Tengu mask. There's a pattern for Tengu masks of various kinds in the clan library- Karasu Tengu was one of them. Some of them didn't slow the air enough for me to breathe- some of them didn't filter the air right.

I've woken up in ANBU-san's arms so many times- I don't know why they haven't tried to stop me yet. They have carried me home though. Mostly, they stay away- try not to laugh when I jump off of rocks and belly-flop into the dirt.

I'll show them.

I'll show them all.

I've finished my raven-y additions to my overcoat. It's big, and blue, and kind of fluffy with padding- but I know I'll grow out of that.

I'm going to fly. The Three as my witness, I am going to _fly_. Maybe then I'll be able to…

* * *

><p>And that's it that's the first arc let's see where we can fucking go with this.<p> 


	26. Eyes

The Iga sisters have very expressive eyes. It's very nearly the only part of them visible- so I suppose it makes sense. The Uchiha's eyes are just as expressive, but it's strange- for all that they show their faces, it's the eyes that allow the most insight into whatever's going on in their heads.

Maybe all that close personal contact they've had over the past two years has made the two clans really close? Eugh.

Troublesome. I'm not looking forwards to the hike up to the Iga Fort to talk one of them into dragging their ram back onto their lands- but Yoshino was very clear. Ugh.

So troublesome.


	27. Ears

I saw Yayoi's ear. It was thin and pink, curled together- just an ear. But I'd never seen it before. It looked soft, and shimmered dimly.

I shouldn't have been looking. I had just finished my training for the day, and I was going to take a shower. Yayoi was in her underwear, brushing her hair out with a fine comb. It was the first time I ever saw her hair- it's white, silver- the moon had risen, and her hair was softly curling from the steam of the bath. Like moonlight gently falling in waves.

Her ear was a gentle curve, floating on the side of her head. The back of her neck, the side of her neck, soft traces of muscle under tan skin.

I shouldn't have been there. If I try to apologize, she'll probably beat me up.

…I want to see her ear again.


	28. Mouth

I really like locusts. All of us Iga do, but I've got like… a fixation on them.

I also recently learned at the academy's medical classes that hands are basically petri dishes of horror.

I've since realized that the best way to get food into my mouth would be a way that didn't involve my hands in any form. Basically, if I can eat my food without touching it at all, I'll have gotten through half the health battle- which is not to say I won't wash my hands often, because I will. Sanitation and cleanliness are one thing- but. I kind of. Don't want to touch bugs either? So… so!

One day when I was in the bath with my sisters, Kirara sneezed really hard and this long string of snot shot out of her nose. Before Raiko or me could say anything, she snorted it back into her nose.

I've been thinking about that for several days now.

We also started going over various kinds of chakra manipulation methods in class- one thing that stuck out to me was chakra strings. I bet that if I can make a chakra string with my tongue, I can catch the delicious and delectable locusts just fluttering around the village without a problem. If I coat that string in mucus, I can catch and kill the locust instantly, and then devour the sucker.

Erm. I wasn't expecting Nara-sama to come to the Fort today- which is why I smacked myself in the mouth with a stick when I was trying to get the timing of my Locust Snatching Technique down. Really, smacked myself in the face with a large branch that had a locust on it. I think I broke my nose.

Which fucking hurts.

Also, I need a better name for this technique, Locust Snatching- while accurate- is just… silly sounding.

So, apparently one of our younger rams got into his clan's lowland forests in the village, and he wants it to go back to it's home. Well, I can't blame him- I think he has a son around Sasuke-chibi's age? Even if he doesn't, young rams don't belong around small children, and I'm sure he has little, like, nephews and nieces and cousins that could be hurt.

So, I'm going to go with Nara-sama and get that ram out of that forest!

Yes, right now Nara-sama! I don't care if I'm bleeding, a little blood is good for the soul!


	29. Nose

This child just broke her nose, and she's all but dragging me to my clan compound to get her family's ram. I realized about halfway down the foothill her clan's fort sits on that she doesn't even know where my clan's compound is. Being dragged towards the Hyuuga clan compound is a generally good indicator of if someone does or doesn't know where I live.

She definitely doesn't.

I didn't realize how close the Iga Fort was to ANBU's HQ…

Still. She's got all the enthusiasm of Kushina-san with about none of the sense.

I eventually lead her to where my clan's lands start, and take her on a meandering route to where the ram's been hanging out. Thankfully, it's right where I saw it before- a big, muscular thing that looks enough like a deer to be unsettling when I realized that it very definitely wasn't.

I don't even notice the Iga girl isn't next to me until she's headbutted the ram right between it's horns and has started screaming about laws. She might actually just be screaming in pain.

Troublesome.


	30. Brave

Today I picked Yayoi up from the Nara clan compound; I also played an exciting game of shogi with Nara-sama, which got cut short by an act of sheep. The Nara clan compound is really more a collection of houses surrounded by forest and glades… nothing like our mountain-y fort at all. Apparently I'm the only one who knows where it is without being lead there by the hand, which is not all that odd considering I have to go to the Akimichi clan's district all the time for feathers.

I'm also the only one who carries around large amounts of string apparently.

I think the only reason we have more than just each other is because Yayoi was brave and kind enough to make us be friends with Itachi-kun. I know I couldn't have done it- I'm a… a coward, I guess you could say. Kirara's too lost in the sky and her own head most of the time to notice other people- so. I'm glad Yayoi is so brave.

But I don't think I can let myself be so cowardly anymore. That game was fun! And… I owe Nara-sama a new shogi piece.

Maybe I'm not such a coward after all.


	31. Lively

The graduation exams are coming up and Itachi-nii is going to go for genin! So are the Iga-chans!

Hn- Naruto-baka is going to Hana-sempai's birthday party and she invited me and I'm going to get my aniki to go too and if I can get him to go in know I can get Yayoi-chan to go and if she goes Hana-sempai will finally have to admit that I do know her!

I like tomatoes but the best ones are the ones Raiko grows in the raised bed nearest the waterpump by the glade and she makes delicious food with them like sauces and pies with open faces and sometimes she lets me eat them straight from the vine even though I have to wash them first but that's okay they taste nice when they're washed!

Obito-ji says I'm super energetic but I don't know what he means because I have just as much energy as anyone else and Naruto-baka is way more energetic than I am and I don't even eat sugary foods like Kiba-jerk does and if anything Itachi-nii and Shisui-itoko should have way more energy than I do because they're eating dango _every day!_

When I told Obito-ji this he laughed and laughed. I don't see what was so funny.


	32. Remorseful

Sasuke-kohai was telling the truth. He really does live with the Iga Clan, and there really are three of them, and they really do wear wool clothing, smell faintly of sheep and flowers, and have very little regard for what is and isn't proper.

They are honest, almost blunt, in their conversations- which Sasuke-kohai correctly interpreted as a simple lack of socialization, and an over… over-something on the company of the Uchihas. They are kind, generous, gentle- sincere, open people, which is strange considering they are one of the more eccentric clans in Konoha.

They also gave me very distinctive, very interesting gifts. Very- thoughtful, gifts.

Raiko have me a hairband, made of a special wool she said wouldn't stain, or keep, or leave, any smell other than it's own easily- when I held it, I could only smell the sweetness of the grasses and flowers the sheep ate and slept in, the mustiness of damp earth, and a sort of smell- I can only describe it as wet. It was a dull, off grey color, with streaks of brown and white in the threads, and my clan's kamon on each end- no matter how I flipped that little ribbon, my clan's symbols were always visible. She also told me that if I ever wanted more, or lost that one, or didn't like it even- she'd make me a new one.

I know now that Sasuke was not kidding when he told me that the difference between Itachi-san and Kirara-chan was the difference between being shy and just being a weirdo. I thought Itachi-san was aloof- but after meeting and talking to Kirara, I realize that he's legitimately shy. Kirara is aloof. She's also terrifyingly observant. I'd only been considering becoming a veterinary medic- but she gave me books about all the ailments and uses of her family's sheep! Nothing her clan considered secret- which apparently means nothing you couldn't learn in the lifespan of one sheep. She also gave me a loose undervest made out of a slightly rough-feeling fabric. She told me that it wasn't a terribly stretchy weave, but I could wear it in any kind of weather without worrying about it shrinking, and that it was from a specific part of their herds wool output called Irontooth- and apparently her clan historically uses that particular strain of wool as armor almost exclusively. She told me that she would have made vests for my ninken as well, but Irontooth doesn't work as well on animals- and that she'd feel awkward about doing something like that without taking proper measurements. I'm not sure if I like the gift she gave me- but I know I like the gift Yayoi gave me!

Yayoi is definitely the leader of her sisters. Ma told me that the situation with the Iga clan's leadership was very strange and always would be, and that when I started learning more about the Clan Council, I'd understand what she meant. I think my mother might have jumped the fence on this- Yayoi, for all her reserve, is very definitely the leader of her sisters, not the follower. She gave me a bundle of thin chunks of lamb meat, called it jerky- I tasted one after testing it, and it is _delicious_. The other thing she gave me was a bag only I could open- I don't know when she got my blood, but she did, and she made me a little felt bag. It's bright red with little flowers swirling across the top closure, and a seal that keeps it closed unless I open it myself. She told me that the wool it's made of is called Stricker, and it actually pulls tighter to itself the more it's pulled at. The only way to loosen the fabric if it's pulled too tight is to soak it in cool mineral water.

I kind of… I wish I had made the effort to get to know the Iga sisters earlier. The veils are intimidating at first, but their kindness and personalities are really clear, even if all you can see is their eyes.

I think that rumor about them causing the Kyuubi is stupid- why the hell did I even listen to it in the first place?


	33. Dismiss

I was wary, at first, of having my uphill neighbors be a clan such as the Iga, but after several years with little more happening than the occasional rogue male mountain sheep coming down and making a nuisance of itself in our gardens, I can say with some relief that the fears I had can be mostly dismissed. Indeed, some of the older sheep make quite lively conversationalists, although the ones that are the most bothersome tend to have a fixation on eating Hizashi's or my own hair.

Thankfully, the Iga girls, now that they've begun to grow into their mother's height, are more than happy to remove the bothersome creatures with a minimum of fuss. Of course, for an Iga, the minimum of fuss usually involves what looks to be a brawl of some kind with the animals to be removed. I have noticed what appears to be a distinctive kind of taijutsu, one that is wholly distinct from the Hitsuji style taught at the Academy.

Iga Raiko, the eldest, was by earlier today for one of the more… ill-tempered members of her family's herds, Kinoko. She calls him "Mushroom eating bastard"- I refer to him as "Mushroom" for the sake of decorum. Simply put, when I inquired as to whether there was a specific Taijutsu style being learned from the constant battling of their various rams, Iga-san replied that in fact there _is_ a taijutsu style associated with their sheep herds, and indeed, the constant violent altercations with them are thus far the only viable method available to them of learning it. Perhaps I was prying, but I could not help but to enquire why, exactly, the Iga heirs had to learn from animals. Iga-san looked me in the eyes- and her eyes were quiet and still, piercing in their gaze.

"We learn from the sheep because our Mother ain't around to teach us anymore. The sheep teach us because our Mother asked them to. And it's not like we haven't had any formal instruction- Mother taught all of us the signature move of the style."

"And what, pray tell, is that?"

"Well- Here comes Kinoko now. I'll show you."

She then grabbed the charging ram by the horns and slammed her forehead into it's so hard I could feel the impact from where I stood on the porch. The sheep shifted and snorted, shoved and strained against her grasp- she slammed her head into it's again, once, twice, three times- by that third hit, the animal swayed drunkenly and flopped onto it's rear. She hauled it over her shoulders, nodded to me in some manner of respect, and walked out of the compound, back to the Iga's mountainside Fort.

I can fully dismiss the possibility of the Iga stealing any sort of secret about the Hyuuga fighting style- it would clash with theirs in a manner spectacular to witness.

I cannot dismiss the possibility that the Iga might develop a counter to the Gentle Fist that has never been considered. Therefore, they shall be watched carefully.


	34. Heavy

I've been hanging around the Nara clan's main house a lot lately. If it isn't Kinoko, it's Tonchiki, or Manuke, or Hema- those dumbasses always have some excuse, but I know it's just because they're too lazy and stupid to find their own salt licks back home, and too cowardly to risk the wrath of the boss ram. Thankfully, Shikaku-sama is pretty easygoing about the whole thing with our stupidest and most juvenile rams, and is always up for a rousing game of Shogi between beatdowns of the various rams.

He's also pretty understanding of me not being allowed to remove my veil or mask until I'm a jonin. I'm just glad I get to pick what color to use- red is my favorite, and it goes with my archery brace, so…

Shikamaru-chibi is just like Shikaku-sama. Except grumpier.

I was resting on their porch after a particularly head-cracking round with Manuke and Hema- I don't know why they've only just now considered teaming up, but Hana's Haimaru are much better at group fighting than either of those idiots. Well- Shikaku-sama went to get me some bandages from inside his house, and Shikamaru-chibi challenged me to a game of shogi.

He's short, and he sneers at me when he does it- which leads me to think… I guess watching me punch the stupid out of two medium size rams was enough to make him think I don't know how to play? Or maybe he just… legitimately thinks I'm stupid.

Just for that, I'm playing Go with him.

So, according to Shikaku-sama it's not nice to make his only son and heir have a minor hissy fit of frustration because he can't figure out the strategy I'm using to beat him at Go. Tch. It's not like putting my first piece in the center of the board is really that crazy.

Oh. Apparently it is.

So now I have to carry both rams back to the Fort.

Great.


	35. Forward

Itachi-chan and the Iga girls became genin less than a year ago. It's strange- I can remember the day Itachi was born; I can remember the Iga-chan's mother, Nadeshiko-san. She was a very stern lady; her eyes didn't miss much. I even remember when the Iga-chan's were just little babies…

I think Nadeshiko-san'd be proud of her daughters, now.

They've been cranking through missions at a furious pace, and if they weren't such good kids, I'd be worried about them. As it is, I'm more worried about that Kumogakure ambassador.

I've got an itchy feeling, like- when I got this feeling last, it was for Kannabi Bridge and, well- I almost died that time. Something's gonna happen.

Good thing Konoha jonin Uchiha Obito is on the case!


	36. Prowl

Obito's been acting weird. Itachi didn't believe me at first, but we both know that he's kind of terrible at reading people's motivations- he can parse the behaviors in front of them very well, but identifying the motivation for them remains his stumbling block. I have no such problem. It's a really good thing I'm his best friend.

Obito is worried about something. He's not a good enough sensor to notice when I'm near him, so- I follow him. There's a Kumogakure ambassador that's caught his eye- I don't understand why until I see his eyes. They're cold, and calculating, and greedy greedy, watching the Hyuuga. Waiting for a perfect moment.

Well. I happen to like our lowland neighbors. So I won't be having with any uppity Kumo nin tryin' to predator on one of our neighbors children. That's just… rude.

When I explain my reasoning to Ojo-hime, she agreed with me and sent out some of the more mature rams to loiter around the Hyuuga's estate. Because Kinoko is finally getting a handle on his visions, and we'll be getting our's soon- the Brew is almost ready, and once we take it, we'll be able to do what the sheep do without concentrating for half a day. Because Raiko enjoys going over to the Hyuuga estates as much as she enjoys going over to the Nara estates, maybe moreso. Because Kirara has a weird pseudo rivalry thing with Hizashi-san, and I'd like her to keep making human contact with other humans… also make friends. Apparently Neji-chibi is a good judge of wind conditioning.

I have no idea what that means, but she seems happy.

I'd like to keep my sisters happy. I'd like to keep myself happy. According to the Laws, keeping my neighbors happy is something to aspire towards.

Sweetness.


	37. Cut

I didn't kill any small animals to figure out how to make my jacket. I didn't lie, or cheat or steal to learn to use the seals. I didn't make Sasuke-chibi redo his work when he was learning to sew- even if it wasn't what it was supposed to be, I just handed him the next task.

I don't have any friends, I don't think. ANBU can't be friends with anyone- I can hear them laughing, when I train. When I throw myself into the ground.

A big wind came today and caught me, and threw me high, high into the air. I flew up so, so high- whirling through clouds, dancing like leaves. And then there was pain, and falling- screaming noise in my skull, jangling against my nerves.

Falling.

Always falling. Only this time I was falling- about to land on a little boy, white jacket and dark glasses, humming softly- he'd be hurt if I did.

So I don't, won't- will not hurt that little boy because of my own stupidity- lift the arms and the- my f-feathers, my wings cut through the air like blades; dust whirling in vortexes as I pass. I can see his mouth open in awe, can see him turn to see me pass- and then I hit the trees.

It felt like I hit every treetrunk and thornbush. I skid so hard my mask goes flying. Tch. I'll have to fix that.

As soon as I wake up…


	38. Impulse

I'm not sure what made me shoot over the wall- it might have been the wind, but it was like there was lightning in the air, somehow, and it wanted something. I wasn't even aiming for the Hyuuga estates- but over the wall it went, and I went to get it before I could get scolded by Hiashi-sama. The shriek that shot up was excruciating- might have hit a cat; Shikamaru-chibi's gift for my birthday has been very useful lately. Wait, what?

My head really hurts. Troublesome.

That thump sounded suspiciously sheep like. Sheep-rustler like.

Oh. That's Zugaikotsu. Why's he at the Hyuuga estate?

Ah! Why is Hinata-chibi on his back?! Why is she crying?! Did I shoot- no, she's fine, just scared, thank the Three.

I don't know what possesses me to nock another arrow, pull it back, and let it fly. Might have been a flash out of the corner of my eye. Might have just been an impulse. I caught a guy I had never seen before in the shoulder either way- he shrieked, staggered, and fell over. He isn't dead- I didn't shoot him in the lung, or the heart, or the head. Then there were ANBU everywhere and the night got sort of blurry and sleep deprived after that.

Hinata-chibi took a flying leap for me and wouldn't let me go, which was strange- then again, I think Zugaikotsu bucked her onto me. Hinata-chibi's really small, and she smells of lilacs and baby powder. She's also kinda sticky.

My head feels like it's going to pulse off of my body, roll away-

I fell asleep a little after midnight that day against the Hyuuga wall, and I didn't wake up until later that afternoon- I hadn't meant to stay up so late the night before, and it was very unusual what happened. I also might have a cold.

"Achoo!"

"Bless you."

"T-thank you."

And then I blacked out from a splitting headache. I didn't even notice that Hinata-chibi was still holding onto me. Or that her father was sitting next to the bed.

I guess the Brew takes a while to kick in. Odd, considering the only time Ojo-hime let us drink it was midnight on our birthday…

I hope Kirara wasn't trying to fly today. That would be… troublesome.

Oh shit I broke my armguard.


	39. Hush

I've never heard the Iga sheep be so quiet. They're usually always rambling on about something- and when they're over here, it's usually something about wolves. I mean, I know my clan is descended from wolves from the west, but…

Yayoi-chan and Itachi-san were over here, learning about iryojutsu with me from Kagome-san when Yayoi-chan collapsed without much more than a sudden sigh. It was like she was going to say a word- say something, before it got caught in her throat. Itachi was concerned and gathered her up into his arms- and that's when I realized that, even as her whimpers and thrashing drew blood from his skin, even as the sheep told us that her- seizures, and choked off screaming was not, in fact, dangerous. Even as her tears fell like rain- that's when I knew the truth about Yayoi-chan and Itachi-san.

Apparently, the Iga clan has something that isn't exactly a kekkai genkai- it's a combination of learned skills and a skill carried in their blood. The way it was described to me- the Nara clan are best at strategizing when given a number of facts and a goal. The Iga are best at discerning fact from fiction, true intentions and motivations from false ones- and determining which goals, if any, are worth pursuit.

Yayoi-chan is undergoing a… a metamorphosis. When she comes out of her fevered state, she'll be… herself, but moreso. I don't know what that means.

I do know that Itachi-san will never look at anyone like he does Yayoi-chan. So I should stop fooling myself that he'll ever look at me. He won't. He's holding her in his arms like something impossibly precious- even while she screams and whimpers, thrashes and bites. Blood runs down his pale milk skin, thin red lines on his skin- I can smell his coppery tang, the stink of iron.

I don't realize that I'm crying until one of the juvenile rams- Kinoko, I think—starts licking my cheek. Are they really juveniles though? His shoulder reaches my waist…


	40. Morals

"What's wrong with your arm?"

"Hm?"

"You usually have a really steady hand, but now- it's all wobbly. Why?"

"I hurt it."

"How did you hurt your arm?"

"Hm. Training."

"Training with whaaaaat?"

"Hmmmm. Look."

"Ah! What kind of training does that?! Your arm is like- eew!"

"Kyuudo. Started using a stronger bow. Caught my arm on the bowstring."

"…Isn't there something you can do so that doesn't happen?"

"I spend all my money on turkey feathers from the Akimichi; Sheep leather isn't stiff enough, so no."

"What would you need leather for…?"

"Armguard. Three layers- smooth leather outer so I don't damage the bowstring. Soft lower so it molds to my arm. Wood, or bone inner so it stays stiff in all weather. Broke my old one."

"…When's your birthday?"

"Hmm?"

"…"

"Hmhm. End of the month. If you get something for me and not my sisters, I'll be mad."

"Tch. Troublesome."

"Hm. You going to resign again?"

"Yeah…"

"Tch. Giving up so easily- thought you were smarter than that."

"Wha-"

"You think too far ahead- then, when what you thought would happen doesn't, you panic and can't think at all. Plans are good- but not being able to change them when you need to is not good."

"But- but you've won every time! And you never plan at all!"

"No- my plan is always the same. I always plan to win. How I win changes every time."

"But then… how do I win?"

"I can't tell you. You'll have to figure it out for yourself."

"…Troublesome."

"Extra-troublesome."

"…"

"I need to change my bandage."

"What do you think the trunk over there is for?"

"Hm. Cheeky brat."

"Pthhhbbbt!"

That was the first time I ever saw Raiko-san cry. That was also the only time I ever saw her scar. It's thin, and looks like… like a snake's path through sand. It must have hurt very badly when she got it.

I haven't seen her shoot yet. I think- after I get her a new arm guard, I'll ask her to show me. I'm glad it's so obvious her favorite color is red.

I hope my dad keeps growing mushrooms in the west fields. That way, Raiko can keep having a reason to visit.


	41. Engage

I didn't mean to get Tsunade-shishou's interest quite like that. But- but Itachi was being so- stupid! I really thought he'd grown out of that!

Hana-chan and I've been practicing with senbon, and Itachi still can't quite bust through all my illusions- I sat down once and counted out the layers in an onion, and that's the thing that sparked my specific style of genjutsu. As for why I was counting the layers of an onion… the number of stupid things my sisters have talked me into is not worthy of repetition. I lived through them all- reliving them is unnecessary.

Itachi- I've been noticing that his eyesight's been getting worse and worse for a while, and the stupid-head just will not go to a doctor. I finally stuck him in a _Tamanegi-gata no kanwajutsu,_ covered him with senbon so even if he broke free he couldn't run, and dragged him to the hospital, Optometrics division. He woke up just after we got there, and started whining-

"Itachi, you've been going blind for the past half year. I don't care what the problem is- be it some, some disease of your blood or a curse from the gods- I will find the problem and destroy it. You're my best friend. I'm not going to let your stupidity stop you from having a good, long life!"

"Well-spoken, brat. Let's see what the problem here is."

So apparently Tsunade-shishou admires proactive responses to medical situations. Also, she's now teaching me and Itachi how to be superior medics. According to her, we're both nearly-skilled enough to be quality medics; with her instruction, we'll definitely be superior medics.

I don't know what throwing boulders at either me or Itachi has to do with learning to be an effective medic, although it's excellent evasion training. Terrible for my fighting style, but still excellent.

She also healed Itachi's eyes within five minutes. She's got appointments with all the Uchiha, and has been drilling Itachi in chakra control exercises so he can learn how to heal his children's eyes too.

I think I kind of love Shishou for that.

Maybe I can figure out a way to use the evasion in my fighting style anyway?


	42. Voice

So I didn't realize that the Nara deer would like my singing so much. Or that Shikamaru-chibi would migrate to my lap and press his head against my chest. Or that Shikaku-sama would sit next to me and smile while I sang.

There are lots of things I'm realizing I don't understand very well.

After our birthday, when Shikamaru-chibi gave me my new armguard, I asked him what he wanted in return- I was hinting at some sturdy deer leather, not a lovely red armguard. He said that he had heard I can sing really well and he wanted me to sing for him.

I have no idea where he heard- Obito-ji. Almost definitely. Maybe Shisui-kun or Sasuke-chibi?

A few days after our birthday- no party, we never got into it when we were younger and there isn't much point now- Shikamaru-chibi asked me to sing for him. I hadn't lured the rams back to the house yet, so I didn't see anything wrong with it.

I sat on the porch with my feet on the ground and my back straight and tall, took a deep breath, opened my mouth, and sang.

And now the yard is full of very interested deer, Shikamaru-chibi is cuddling my chest and I think someone is standing behind me. I tilt my head back and see the wide eyed gaze of Shikaku-sama. Shikamaru-chibi snuggles into me more firmly.

"…"

"…Do you want me to sing some more?"

"Yes." "Yes."

"…Okay."

So I sing some more. Shikaku ends up sitting next to me, as do some of the deer. Then I have to stop singing and get the rams because I have training.

I promise them all that I'll sing for them tomorrow. I guess.

What the hell.


	43. Awkward

I've developed a distinctive acquaintance with Shino-chibi. While he disapproves of my insectivorous qualities, he accepts them. I asked him to allow me to consume one of his beetles- when he asked me why, I replied to the effect of not wanting to eat any by accident and to ignore any I may come across. I realized then that asking to eat one of his beetles was probably the wrong thing to do, and made a loud and exuberant vow to not eat beetles at all.

But then he held his hand out and on it was a small shivering beetle. I put my hand under his and closed his fingers over the beetle.

"No Shino-chibi. I should not have asked that of you."

"But-"

"No! I shall live without the knowledge-"

"But you should eat this beetle. Why? Because then you will know what it tastes like and not be perturbed should you have to ingest one again."

"Well… although I cannot fault your logic, I must protest this course of action as your beetles are precious to you. I would not cause harm to your emotional wellbeing without due cause."

"Surely learning such things now before it becomes an imperative part of survival is to your benefit."

"Maybe so, but causing a young child emotional distress is not."

We argued back and forth about whether or not I should eat his beetle for what felt like a great deal of time.

Our argument stopped when the shadow of Aburame-sama fell over us both. I was crouched and mildly ruffled- I've taken to wearing the Bird Coat everywhere, it's just… easier. There are very interesting gusts and wind formations in the lower village, especially near the Aburame clan compounds. I've only face-planted like, three times today!

"You will eat my beetle."

"I will do no such thing."

"Are they without nutritional value?"

"Certainly not but they have an intrinsic emotional value made profitable by you; I would not remove even one from your person."

Shino-chibi is now bristling. Aburame-sama is… laughing?

Odd.


	44. Lower

Yayoi has freckles on her inner thigh. I should not know that but I do.

Her skin there is paler than the rest of her skin, which is totally normal. Freckles are clusters of concentrated melanin which are most often visible on people with pale skin. Freckles do not have an increased number of melanocytes, but instead have cells that overproduce melanin granules which change the coloration of the skin. The formation of freckles is triggered by exposure to sunlight.

Knowing the why behind her freckles is not lessening my fascination with them.

I want to know what she did to get them; I want to be there when she gets more. I want to touch each one and trace them like little brown stars on her pale cream thighs.

Maybe if I don't think about how I learned that she has freckles on her inner thigh, I'll be able to stop thinking about it.

Oh fuck I can't stop thinking about Yayoi's freckled inner thighs. And how I saw them reflected in the mirror on the ceiling of the bathroom- she asked me for a towel and I saw them, the water was so clear and there they were, pale creamy white and I closed my eyes before I could see more.

I wanted to see more. I wanted to see- lower. Higher? More. Definitely more.

I want to see all of Yayoi.

What is wrong with me? I'm her best friend!

Why does the bathroom have a mirror on the ceiling?!


	45. Plead

So Hana-chan has just begged Itachi and me to go to a dinner party with her because, and I quote "it'll just be my mom and a bunch of other old people there you both have to come you're literally my only friends pleaaaaaaaaahahahaaaaaaeeeeese".

So now I'm going to a dinner party.

What in the fuck is a dinner party.

Oh. Apparently it's just a dinner with a bunch of people. Well if I'm going to a boring dinner, so are my sisters. Solidarity.

Solidarity!

So after headbutting my sisters into submission, ignoring their weak pleas for mercy- MERCY IS FOR WHEN YOU'RE DEAD- we've taken measurements and carefully picked out nice formal clothing to wear. Each of us is wearing a nice yukata- except for Kirara, who will wear no overcoat other than the one she's made. We've gotten invitations for Shisui and Sasuke. Obito-ji was already going to attend.

The sheep have been fed and told in explicit and very violent terms what will happen if anyone tries any shit with our Fort. The ANBU's annual winter clothing has been set out. This year they're getting hats.

There are is no emotion left in me but resignation. And possibly some apprehension. I'm going to a dinner party and so are my sisters. And all the Uchiha's are going too.

Goddesses help us all.


	46. Caring

When the loud shriek that is definitely Sasuke-chibi rings out not an hour into dinner, I know it's going to be one of those nights. Itachi sees to him- he's gotten very good with the Mystical Palm.

When Hizashi-san lets out an unmanly yelp because Kinoko is trying to eat his hair, I can confirm, if only to myself, that it is indeed one of those nights. I've gotten very good at feinting and giving a head-bashing to remember into your old age- or possibly not. Kinoko was very wobbly after I slammed him into the dirt. He also apologized to Hizashi-san, and then they started arguing about fate. Raiko just kind of sighed and slumped over onto Shikaku-sama, and then tried to unslump unsuccessfully because Shikamaru-chibi climbed onto her and started asking her to sing. I don't think she meant to slump onto Shikaku-sama- and now he's slumped onto Akimichi-sama. Raiko is staring at him with an incredulous glare.

Is that even a thing that's allowed at dinner parties?

Kirara has vanished, somehow. She was sitting over by the Aburames, but then Shino-chibi wandered off with her and they've both been gone since. Aburame-sama is talking with Tsume-sama. Hana-chan is talking to- a red-haired woman.

Raiko is being used as a pillow by Nara-chibi.

Sasuke-chibi and Naruto-chibi are arguing with each other quite loudly.

Itachi-kun is staying my hand from violence by holding it. His hands are rough with calluses, but the tips of his fingers are soft against my palm. I can feel his chakra gently thrumming under my fingers, nipping at the tenketsu in my hand.

It's going to be a long night.


	47. Believe

Rumor has it that the Iga clan brought great misfortune- it's changed from the former head, Nadeshiko-chan, bringing terrible luck with her in the form of her three daughters, to her daughters being omens of terrible luck, to the Iga heirs being outright unlucky. No one really associates with them- and the only people they really associated with before they were genin were the remaining Uchihas. After they became genin, events conspired to make them interact more with the noble clans of the village; Nadeshiko-chan was indispensable for the war effort, and I owe her a great deal.

I might have failed her, but I won't fail her daughters.

I personally think it's interesting that the Iga are actually employing the Uchiha clan in a sort of body guarding capacity. I think it's interesting that there's never been a request for removal or retrieval of any of the Iga rams- not from the clans that the rams are known to harass, and not from the Iga themselves. I think it's interesting that they haven't looked at me once all evening- they will not meet my eyes, and actually shied away from Kushina. I think it's very interesting that they're so blunt and understated; they don't pander to Naruto, but they don't ignore him either.

I think it's going to be very interesting to see what they'll do during the conversational portion of the evening- after dinner, what will they do to entertain themselves?

Well. I'm about to find out.


	48. Found

So. I have no idea why I reacted so dramatically to Kinoko and Hizashi-san's ongoing argument about fate and freewill. Nor do I entirely understand why Shikamaru-chibi wants to hear me sing right now. Nor do I understand why Shikaku-sama has slumped onto Chouza-sama.

Where- okay, Sasuke-chibi is here because he wants to hear me sing too, and Naruto-chibi has followed him because he wants to hear me sing- there is an Ino-chibi, and a Choji-chibi, and that's Shino-chibi and Kirara and why is Shibi-sama… there is a crowd of dinner party-goers around me now. Shikamaru-chibi is glimmering at me hopefully.

Fine. I'll sing.

"Fine. I'll sing. What do you want?"

"Sing the ballad."

"Which ballad, Kirara?"

"The one about the Western Lands and why our clan left them."

"The Halls of the Mountain King?"

"Yeah."

I wriggle Shikamaru-chibi off of me, sit up- straighten my back. Take a deep breath. And sing the ballad "The Halls of the Mountain King".

When it's over, Hana-chan is crying. Most of them are crying actually. Why are so many people crying? Shikamaru-chibi is hugging me.

Why am I crying?

Shikaku-sama is hugging me too. I don't get it. That ballad… I know it's an oral history of the Iga clan, and what happened to us before the Sage came. It's about the forested highlands of the Land of Demons, and the mountain the Iga had in their keeping; the forest that the wolves the Inuzuka used to be guardians of, the deer-god that died, screaming in fear. The blue butterflies that flew from the deer god's corpse. The boar tribes that lived in the mountains. The madness of the moongoddess and my ancestor, who slew her; her dying curse, a meteor that burned the forest and shattered the mountains, drove all the clans away.

Fire and calamity and a great and terrible longing to have a home again.

We wandered for many years after that, following our guides, the Tengu. Then the Sage of Six paths came, and chakra, too, and we died out slowly at first, then all at once- driven mad by what we could now see through chakra stained minds. Till only my grandmother, then my mother, then my sisters and me are left.

It's about what it means to see what's coming and being unable to change a single, stupid thing.

I don't know why I can't stop crying.

Shikaku-sama gives nice hugs.


	49. Shield

"I heard your clan has a kekkai genkai?"

"Ue-sama?"

"Namikaze-san is fine."

"Sorry- Namikaze-sama, the Iga clan has what _appears_ to be a kekkai genkai. We really don't though."

"Oh? Please explain, Yayoi-chan."

"Well- each blood-member of the Iga clan has a predisposition to have a high level of observation-based situational awareness. We've also got records of the average member being very good at divining, and occasionally projecting what we call "true intent"; when Raiko sings, she's projecting her true intentions. It's why her lullabies are so effective."

"Is this… observational skill of the Iga a skill that can be learned by people outside the clan?"

"Technically, yes. We have records of various friends of the clan attempting the ritual we use to awaken latent observational skills. In all cases, they go… well, clinically insane."

"How insane?"

"Um… Trying to claw their chakra-network out because they can feel it rushing through their body insane. Stabbing their ear canals out of their skulls so the rushing sound of their blood will stop annoying them insane. The thing is… every living thing that has a nervous system that allows the sensation of touch to register is aware of their chakra network. Everyone can hear their pulse in their heads. However, for the most part, you ignore those sensations because there are other sensations that are much more important. Part of the Iga ritual of Perception Expansion makes the user suddenly, violently aware of all their senses- touch, taste, smell, hearing, vision, and several senses that aren't specifically named- in all their capacities."

"Like?"

"Magnetic field awareness, for example. How do you think people with good direction sense can navigate so well?"

"Ah. So, if for example, a member of the clan had natural Sen-chakra sensing ability-"

"They'd be banned from undergoing the ritual."

"Really?"

"Being able to eat food is generally more important than being able to fully sense all the chakra of the natural world around you. It eventually tapers off enough to be dealt with, but all our records show a distinctive trend of death by malnutrition for the majority of Sen-sensitive individuals who attempt the ritual."

"_Ah_. So there's no way for me to do this ritual, right?"

"Absolutely not, Namikaze-sama."

"Would anyone in the village who isn't an Iga be allowed? An Uchiha, perhaps?"

"No, Namikaze-sama. Even if it was ordered of us, no Iga clan member would ever allow a non-clan member to undergo the Ritual of Perception, nor would we explain how to undergo the ritual to an outsider."

"Interesting."


	50. Open

Oh shit her eyes are open.

OW OW OW OW OW FUCK OW SENBON SENBON SO MANY SENBON IN MY BACK I CAN'T MOVE FUCK FUCK SHISUI YOU ASSHOLE HELP ME FUCK OW OW OW

OOOOOOOOW

Ow.

So. Watching Yayoi while she sleeps- definitely a bad idea. She's very beautiful. Her hair is soft white in the moooaauguguh, Shisui is terrible at pulling out senbon gently. Soft white hair that curls gently at the eeearrrrgh. Ends. I want to touch her hair. I want to touch her skin.

I want to know her- everything, everywhere, in every season. All of her. I want to rub my hands over her naked skin, press myself to her, touch her, feel her, be with her in every moment.

Maybe I should talk to someone about this.

* * *

><p>And that's it that's the arc. Subtlety has hit Itachi with the puberty of a sledgehammer. Wait no. Puberty has hit Itachi with the subtlety of a sledge hammer. Yes. Sentence skillz: 115. We haven't even gotten to jonin-shennaniboops yet what the hell.


	51. Tactile

Itachi and Yayoi learn best by actually physically doing what they set themselves to learn. So do I. Explaining the theory of what field medics do is perfectly fine for Itachi- he'd understand and absorb the lecture. Yayoi would zone in and out of the conversation at least three times. So did I, at the beginning of my career as a mednin.

I've nearly broken her of that, but until it's fully done, I'll keep training her in evasion. Itachi, clever little devil, has picked up on what I'm doing and has started throwing things at her- little bouncy ball toys, small rocks, onigiri and dango on the stick, little hundred ryo store toys worth less than the materials they're made of, senbon, kunai, shiruken on wire, exploding tags folded like messenger pigeon style origami. Beads. Flowers. The occasional punch.

She's so far dodged them all- knowing her, she'll start feinting and throwing what he's throwing back at him. It shocked the hell out of me when she started punting the boulders I threw her way back at my head- it shocked me again when she started adding weapons to her throwbacks.

All that aside, I'm sure it will be very interesting for the both of them when they start exploring the more physical side of their relationship. I remember it being very interesting when Dan-


	52. Journey

Bad blood. That's all there is to it.

The sheep herds Mother brought here with her- they're too inbred, now. We need new sheep. Which- well, it won't be a problem for quite some time, I suppose, but. A sheep only lives for ten to twelve years, maximum. We've been eating more lambs than usual- they're being born… defective.

Clan law states that all sheep available to breed must be within thirty percent of conformation. There are various strains of wool that come in and out of existence over decades; the conformation standard ensures that all the recorded wools stay within the bloodlines.

Yoi Hyaku, the good hundred, live just past some of the densest forest up here on the mountain; there's a wide range of terraced glades that they live out in, covered over in wildflowers and lush green grasses. They produce the majority of our trade wool, and what we base most of our basic, training weight fabrics on. I'm actually quite proud to say that, in Konoha, quality wool comes from us- we make the finest specialty wool, and the people down in the lowlands know quality when they feel it. So far, they've shown the least deviation. Conformation in that herd has always been particularly good, and… if I have to merge the flocks together, the Yoi's will be able to hold the bloodlines for a while yet. Their internal management is particularly stringent- there are very very few non-conformation lambs born to the Yoi. But there is a concerning and marked rise in the number of non-conformation sheep being born.

Shio Hyaku, the salt hundred, roam out on the cliffs of the mountain; they tend to graze on brambles and roughage we cut from the Terraces past the forest. That flock is where Irontooth and Stricker come from- Slink too, for that matter; it's what my coat is made of for the most part, and my coat wouldn't be so very waterproof if Slink wasn't so oily and tough and so easy to weave tight like fishscales. The Shio's actually tend to associate strongly with the Yoi; conformation standards for the Shio are loose, compared to the last flock.

Tou Hyaku, the tower hundred, are a flock of sheep numbering nearly always at twenty five monogamous couples. Their current matriarch, Ojo-hime, controls the lambs born to that flock with steel shod hooves. However, she's only got about eight more years left in her- she's two years old if she's a day. Her successor, Kaiju-hime, is sweet- but moronic. She is not smart enough to manage the flock like it needs to be controlled. There are, so far, no non-conformation lambs that have been born to that flock. The wool that comes from that flock is the source of my sealing ability. Their wool has a specific characteristic of being able to hold and release chakra in a controlled manner in its base state; when spun or woven, it's effects can be further refined.

Yayoi was very clear that since Raiko couldn't handle the sheep due to… safety concerns, I would have to. My personal ambitions must be secondary to the clan's wellbeing- in this, we are quite agreed.

Therefore, before I turn eighteen, I must secure new bloodlines into the Iga sheep flocks- new blood for the Yoi, the Shio, and the Tou. I will give myself six years- I'm ten now, so in six years I must be strong enough to journey to the land of Demons, far to the west; I must go to the fallen halls of my ancestors and entice the sheep that yet remain there to return with me.

May the Three see fit to help my endeavor.


	53. Scowl

In all my years, I never did meet a gambler with such terrible luck, and such a lack of sense.

I'm dying- 's poison. Ambushed by- fuck I don't know. Somebody. Got half the world wantin' me dead by now. But- my daughters. Beautiful, each of 'em. They'll be alright. I got a fort for them, for their first birthday. Spent the next few years making it safe for 'em to be there, bound it up in Iga and Koga seals for safety, security- my own peace of mind. Teeth that'd bite a man clean in half all wound up in that house…

I was… I was at the hospital, check-ups and imm- shots. For the girls so they wouldn't get sick. Blond lady there. In the waiting room. Said- I've forgotten what she said, but she made a bet of it. No, I remember- she said that Raiko would cry harder after her shot, I said she wouldn't cry at all if I held her in my arms.

Senju Tsunade. That was her name.

Was a… a deed. Collateral on the bet, was a deed. A deed to a fort her family hadn't built. Had… found it. Found the found the found the foundations of it. B-built up a fort there, mountain top, beside a glade of wildflowers and an old well that w-wasn't poisoned, still flowed pure. Sounded like… like somewhere my daughters could grow. Could grow up. Be better than me.

They'll be alright. Wrote a letter to their father. Think it's their father- never seen a man with white hair and red all down his face like that, never did lay with anyone else with the intention of drawing up seeds from the loin. Never got pregnant by any other man. He ain't seen 'em. Won't for years if I have my say…

Tired.

Senju Tsunade. Worst gambler I ever saw. 'Course, she didn't know I could sing without opening m' mouth, didn' know I could make Raiko still and quiet through a battlefield when I couldn't any time else. Din't know I could sooth a storm right down and quiet, no matter what, didn't know I'd broken my voice raw out and blood spittin' just to keep my daughter hushed. As soon as I go MIA- maybe KIA, depends on, on, don't remember- as soon as I go, m'friend's gonna send out a letter for me. Hope he gets it.

Shouldn't have made a bet against a ninja, Senju-hime. Your face is too pretty for such a nasty scowl… My mama taught me that ninja's always cheat; didn't yours…?

I'll just rest my eyes for a moment… won't be long… mama…


	54. Hero

There's a specific kind of sandwich Kirara-chan makes for me sometimes.

It's in a long bread-roll, with a cut down the middle so it won't explode while it's baking. Six or seven different kinds of flour go into the roll, so it's heavy for it's size. The crust is crunchy- each bite of it is like a sudden flock of screeching birds in your head, crunching and chirping. The taste is- sweet, once you chew it, but that first bite is buttery and filling.

It starts and stops with a layer of cheese. Its sheep's milk cheese, mildly flavored usually, but sometimes Kirara-chan rolls the loaves of cheese in mixtures of herbs and spices, or mixes the cheeses outright with other things. The dried berry and nut mixture is very nice, but a little odd on a sandwich; my favorite is the basil and rosemary coated flavor.

Lettuce- crunchy and wet and so, so refreshing. Like a cool drink of water on a hot day. Bean sprouts; tart, wholesome, intensely vegetal.

A layer of the thinnest, finest cut roasted lamb tenderloin; juicy, savory, unctuous, that taste that tastes of meat and happiness.

A special sauce she won't teach me how to make.

But never tomatoes. She grew adorable chibi-tomatoes for me, packs them separate from my sandwich; a little box of them for me to eat any time I want. So good. But never a tomato slice- no matter how fine- is to be found on my lunch-time sandwiches.

I think if there were tomatoes on my sandwiches for lunch, I'd be content with calling it what she does.


	55. Sweet

I flew today. I also broke three ribs. The two events are not unrelated.

I finally figured out how to fly- years of, of study, of stabbing myself with needles, of having to remake seal patches because bloody ones have chakra spots and don't move evenly… of obsession. And. It was. Wonderful.

At first I didn't even think I had done anything. Our fort has several mountainside cliff-trails and hidden forest glades dedicated to training; I modified one for my training. It's near the cliffs, with a soft clay ground and tall, tall posts- taller than five men standing on each other's shoulders, and short stumps around the edges. I can scuttle up the posts very quickly, and I don't leave marks from my toe hooks anymore; I also don't leave chakra residue either. I learned to punch and kick mid-air there; I'm very glad I know the _Kage Bunshin_ now- it was hard figuring out how to fight effectively just using straw dummies.

Every day, I practice a variety of things at my training grounds- flapping, landings, emergency drops. A while ago, I started practicing gliding- I'd climb to the top of one of the posts and glide down to one of the stumps; my toe hooks aren't actually for climbing. I have the least control of my chakra out of my sisters; Mama taught me how to focus my chakra by teaching me to sew. For my feet, focusing my tree-walking technique through needle-sharp claws on my toes is about as precise as I can get it. The hooks offer me more traction; the big one on the back of each leg is for fighting. Like a rooster's spur.

I was so stupid- I always forget that updrafts don't last very long. Still- I flew up up up, into the clouded sky, above the clouds; my mask pumping in air for my lungs, up through the cloud's wetness. I feel like I knew clouds were wet before, but- how can that be? I flew until the sun was setting in the sky- the clouds turned to orange and lemon and strawberry sherbet, wispy puffs of colored sweetness. It was cold, and clear, and bright. I'd never felt more alive, more- at peace. Home. In that place, more than any other- in that place, I felt home.

And then I blacked out.

…I have to do two things to make my suit and coat work properly- the first is that I have to ensure that every seal patch is correctly stitched, blood-free, and placed correctly. Blood actually has a unique way of fucking up my seals; there's a specific method of making the thread I use for my seal patches, and blood isn't part of it. The other thing I have to do is carefully control the amount of chakra that I'm molding; using the suit and coat requires a very specific amount- too much, and my feather-seals become erratic. Too little and they don't work. I have only so much chakra; molding it correctly is not an easy task. When I blacked out, it wasn't because of low blood-oxygen levels. It was pure, unflinching chakra exhaustion.

The last thing I actually saw before the blackness of unconsciousness claimed me was the grasping branches of trees coming for me. I have no idea how many I hit on the way down.

I think an ANBU-san took me to the hospital though.

That was sweet of them, but I'm sure I could have gotten there on my own. Eventually.


	56. Sour

There are things we're allowed to do. There are also things we are not allowed to do.

I am the only Iga who currently wants to take up the homely and delicate art of Brewing, however. A person cannot live off of archery alone.

It all goes back to Mom. She had… something. Wrong with her.

She couldn't breast feed us. Me. Doesn't matter.

What matters is that she taught me- all of us, but mostly me- how to Brew. How to use the clan's specialty Herbalism. That's what she used to make up something very like what her breast milk should have been for us. It was goat's milk and spices, herbs I can't say the name of anymore; it's a sealed recipe, I can't even write it down for someone. The only way I could ever give Milk to someone out of the clan is if I made it for them and gave them a bottle.

The Brew used in the Ritual of Perception Expansion is actually a thick, molasses-type paste; it is heavy, dark, and very sticky. It tastes like dirt. It's properly called 'Black Magic' in the Iga book of herblore.

White Rabbit is a tincture of baiju and Hard Black Magic. We grow Sorgum- it's good fodder for the sheep.

White Rabbit is almost entirely mushrooms. One part Black Mushrooms, known for their potent hallucinogenic qualities; one part Lingzhi Mushrooms, good for the immune system; one part Chakuro Mushrooms, good for chakra regulation. The sheep that are always down in town, munching on various types of mushrooms- well, the thing of it is, most mushrooms are actually powerful hallucinogens in their own right. They're also terribly poisonous- to humans, at least. The sheep are much, much tougher than a man- so they eat the mushrooms without a problem. And they piss out the powerful hallucinogens good Black Magic needs. Chop up the mushrooms thin, like matchsticks and steep 'em in piss for a few days- no more than five. It turns into a thick, molasses-type paste, which is ingested during the Ritual.

White Rabbit requires a few things more- technically, all it requires is Black Bonedust. It's a mixture of powdered cinnamon, lime zest boiled in brine and sun dried, powdered red travelers plum, and powdered blood. Any kind of blood will do. Mix this stuff with Black Magic and you get a sludge that isn't solid, but certainly isn't liquid- you could stick a spoon into it just fine, and turn the bowl you're mixing it in over without fear; that's Hard Black Magic.

Lastly, combining baiju and Hard Black Magic- nothing to it. Magic goes in a jar, booze goes over it. Put a lid on it tight and shake daily until the Magic dissolves. You'll be left with a liquid that looks exactly like soy sauce. It is not soy sauce.

Hellvigor takes a bit more effort- shit, I could make White Rabbit in a month if I had to. Hellvigor, technically speaking, is an infusion of the most powerfully strong peppers known to the world mixed with a decoction of a legally recognized recently weaponized pepper, mixed again with cutting agents. Without those cutting agents, this stuff is technically just Vigor, and it's used as a specialty sheep liniment.

The Mortal Scorpion is a pepper that is a pale, almost ivory white with a soft yellow tint. It looks vaguely like a scorpion, with its sharply hooked tail. It has smooth, soft skin, and a delicate, fruity flavor. It is also the hottest pepper in the world. It is illegal to buy, sell, trade, or give them to anyone, anywhere. They are banned from commercial production in every shinobi nation, and the Land of Iron.

The "Blue Hell" 7 Pot pepper is a bright white pepper that has distinctive iridescent blue 'pimpling' on it's flesh. They are, for lack of a better term, lumpy, and vaguely phallic in shape. Their skin is glossy, and their flowers are cream with yellow centers. Their flavor is fruity, with hints of floral tones. It is the second hottest pepper in the world. It is said that one pepper is enough for seven pots of flavor.

The Naga Bone pepper is a brown, wrinkly thing, with a sweet, slightly tart taste. Mature peppers also tend to have undertones of wood and smoke. It can cause deep burns on unguarded flesh, and must be picked with wooden tongs, as its volatile acids will eat through leather.

The Apple Pepper is a pepper that is shaped like an apple. It's usually colored like a red-yellow apple, and has a meaty, beefy flavor. We use it for deworming the sheep- and making Vigor.

Cryin' are peppers that are a lurid red color, always- they form pale, cool gold flowers and then fangs of fruit so red as to be blood colored and disturbing. Even when those things are powdered, they're still a bright, vicious red. A small bushel of them can be used to repel rats from a granary; a handful of Cryin' powder can make even a trained tracker-type ninken abandon a trail. It's actually illegal to use them in bombs. Making a decoction of Cryin' is no joke. You can blind yourself with this stuff- I actually always decoct it on days when the wind blows up from the village, instead of down into it.

While the decoction is cooking, I cut the peppers into strips, or mash them down, and stick them all into a special wooden basket; I let the peppers steep in the redness, let all that fire and vigor soak into the blood-colored liquid. And it is blood colored- a brighter, redder, pinker color than most people ever believe.

Stop there and it's Vigor, a special sheep liniment that has to cool and 'set' for about three months after you make it. Keep going, and you have to steep the peppers until exposed bits of skin start to feel blistered, even if they're cold from the wind. I let the infusion- decoction- _brew-_ cool down to nearly warm, and start stirring in equal parts orange juice, lemon juice, and sea salt brine.

This stuff has to settle for half a year- and be rebottled. The silt that gathers at the bottom after three months isn't fit for human consumption. But like I've said- the sheep are tougher than any man. The liquor that is made after that second three month stretch is a color so violently red as to be mistaken for rubies or blood. It is perfectly clear, and has a sweet, delicate flavor.

Iga's don't drink. That's Clan Law. We don't drink. Ever. We do, however, make various medicinal potions, be they elixirs, tinctures, decoctions, concoctions, or brews. And whether the medicinal brew be meant for the mind or the body, the Iga have always excelled in its making.

I'm not sure why Tsunade-shishou made such a face when I explained this to her. She did insist on trying some Hellvigor. She'll be fine in three days. Maybe four.

However long the hangover lasts, really.


	57. Bitter

I dreamed about my first kill last night. It's been a long, long time since I thought about it.

I grew up in the civilian orphanage back in Konoha- it's right on the edge of the red light district. Dangerous for orphans- civilian orphans. Always too many of us- them, too many of them, never enough matrons. Always someone- watching. The matron's nearly let us run wild, and there was always someone around the orphanage watching and waiting. I was always too- something. Some of the other kids there weren't. They tended to disappear- but I was always too… something, to just disappear. There was one guy in the dorms, Kai- he wasn't. He wasn't too something to just disappear… he was pretty- like a doll. Big eyes, soft little mouth. He used to smile. He'd share candy with me, sometimes.

Quick fingers, he had, and with that face- who'd ever guess what he'd done?

Except someone did. He warned me away, but I followed him, when that- monster- took him away. Made him follow like a- like a dog.

I saw what that monster made Kai do. When I asked Kai about it, he begged me not to tell anyone.

I didn't tell anyone.

I did kill a monster, back then. Got Kai to quicksilver away some clothing I could burn no problem. Threw vinegar and Cryin' pepper powder, anise oil and peppermint- no one would ever find me. Foul'd the scents, taught us how in the academy. Clothing went into the incinerator, hot hot hot- and Kai was good at genjutsu.

And the monster was dead.

Kai's the head of several hanamachi throughout Fire Country now; it's an informal position, according to him. In actuality, it's more like what the Kages would be if there weren't hidden villages. Some of the geisha's he's in charge of- I wouldn't be surprised if they're hidden ninja clans, just like Nadeshiko-chan was. Come to think of it, Kai's the one who told me to look Nadeshiko-chan up…

I pray to the gods that my daughters don't get blooded the way I did. Please, let them be able to laugh and smile while they're young and mean it. Let them live beyond the world of willows and flowers- beyond the world of their parents.

This job I chose- after that monster died, I chose to become a ninja. This job- it takes things from you. I thought I'd already lost what the job was supposed to take- but, as it turns out, the job took something I didn't even know I'd had. It takes things money can't buy back; it takes things people don't know they have until it's too late. I send my wealth to those girls, my- but- money can't buy back time lost. It can't buy back a childhood, or a relationship that never got a chance to exist… bah.

I'm getting old.


	58. Salty

"Ow! Fuck!"

"Swear jar."

"Heh."

"The both of you can die in a fire."

"Bluh bluh bluh- don't be mad 'cuz you slammed your finger in the pestle. What were you even sticking your fingers in there for? It's not like the pumpkin seeds can run away…"

"Heh. Sticking fingers there."

"Kirara, why are you the most perverse of us?"

"Dunno. Why does Raiko paint all those dirty pictures if Yayoi is the best at calligraphy? For that matter, why am I the best at story telling?"

"It's because you know the most of them. Pass the prunes."

"Here. I'll start mixing the water and soy sauce."

"So- what is this stuff again? Raiko?"

"Hmm? Sorry- measuring out the water. This is something I came up with a while back- it should help during training."

"Hmm?"

"Well- alright. Iga's make healthful potions of all kinds; as I'm the only Iga Brewer right now, it's my duty to try and make new potions every now and again. This one is called Pick-me-up, or Pickup- I'm not sure which yet. Pickup might be the stronger version, the one we don't sell."

"Hmm- if we didn't add the water…"

"No, the water's a vital component."

"What if Pick-me-up is what we call it when we're selling it, and Pickup is what it's called when we add it to another potion? Is that possible?"

"Actually, considering what it's made of, there are very few things we _can't_ add this stuff to. It's a base."

"Hmm. Like… instead of a juice that may or may not be available, it's a potion you can safely mix other potions with, to create powerful and potent concoctions with?"

"Yeah."

"Sounds good to me- hey, is this right?"

"A little finer, if you can manage it."

"Sure. Hmm- is the wet ready?"

"Yeah- the prunes dissolved well enough, and all that's left is that powder you're making. That's good enough- dump it in."

"Is it ready yet- oh wow that's an ugly color."

"Yayoi?"

"Yes Raiko?"

"Shut up."

"Hehehe."

"So, who's tasting it first?"

"Yayoi." "Yayoi."

"Why do I have to- you know what? Never mind. Pour me a glass."

"So, how is it?"

"Salty. Kind of sweet? I could drink this- it tastes like it'd be good for nausea too."

"Hmm. So… success?"

"I'd say so."

"Mm. Wow, it is oddly salty, isn't it?"

"Hmhm. Why can't I stop drinking it?"

"Let's test it on the boys."

"Mm, lets."

"Fine."


	59. Spicy

The requirements for becoming a Jonin are not at all the requirements for becoming a Chunin. The explanation for that is simply- the chain of command.

Genin follow the orders of everyone. They are, unless otherwise specialized, the grunts of the ninja world. Every major office in any hidden village will have at least ten genin assigned to it for various purposes, be it cleaning, generalized assistance, or filing- and so on. The Cypher Corps, for example, has no more than a company of genin at a time; their job is to fetch, carry, and for the most part, mind the higher ranked members of the Corps. The Medical Corps has very nearly a brigade of genin whose duties include everything from nursing to maintenance on medical equipment.

Chunin are better than genin- they're generally more experienced, smarter, stronger, and have the responsibility to adapt their orders to situations if they should change. Chunin are able to work with a team; they are also able to work on their own. They have some skill in information gathering and in resisting interrogation; they can survive in enemy territory for a small period of time; they can, for the most part, judge the skill and power of their enemy and determine if the correct course of action should be to engage in or retreat from battle. Chunin follow orders; chunin obey the directives of a plan.

Jonin give the orders. Jonin make the plans. Jonin are, generally speaking, as high as a ninja can publically go in their chain of command. The next rank up is the new rank of Sanin- originally referring to the Dentetsu no Sanin, it now means, in essence, "a ninja with the skill, knowledge, and power of three". It is higher than jonin but lower than Kage, Kage being the highest there is.

The Chunin Exam is a three part test, composed of an intelligence gathering portion, a survival and retrieval portion, and a battle portion. Each section is meant to weed out the genin that are not ready for the responsibilities for being a chunin.

The Jonin Exam is a five part test. Three components of the test are almost identical to the Chunin Exams. However, there are two that are not at all the same. The first is a political portion- Jonin are always, always promoted inside their home village. Prospective jonin are required to have the backing of two different jonin to even attempt the test; securing the backing of a full jonin is, for potential jonin, a test of political acumen. Securing the backing of a jonin three man team, or two man cell, is generally the best plan. The final component is not known to any potential jonin, but is known to all current jonin.

Uchiha Shisui is an interesting young man. He graduated the Konoha academy at the age of eleven, with a score that stuck him in the middle of the class. His highest scores were in Intel, Traps and Evasion, Genjutsu, Taijutsu, and Stealth. He became a chunin at thirteen, and went into ANBU after he became known for his _shunsuin_. He's specialized in Assasination and Sabotage, and is actually retiring from ANBU after a miraculous full year of missions. Most saboteurs don't live past six months. He's well-liked by his peers, and the general ANBU consensus is that he should be put out into the general rotation while he's still human. He's gained the backing of Combat Cell 20, composed of Maito Gai and Hamaki Mimura; Combat Cell 20 specializes in Heavy Combat and Assault, and has not been fielded since the public treaty with Iwa.

Uchiha Itachi is no less interesting a young man. He graduated the Konoha academy at the age of ten, first of his class- the best of his generation. He had high scores overall, which made his specialization as a Field Medic all the more unique. He apprenticed under Senju Tsunade, and after a year of being a genin, he became both a fully-vetted Medic and a chunin, and went into ANBU as a medic. His mission record shows an impressive level of skill, not just in medical techniques, but with genjutsu and kenjutsu. He's struck terror into the hearts of new recruits, old hands, and Captains alike, and has petitioned several times to start an ANBU specific branch of the Medical Corps. He has the backing of Team Minato, composed of Uchiha Obito, his cousin- also known as The Great Thief; Nohara Rin, a senior medic- also known as The Gentle Death; and Hatake Kakashi, an assault and heavy combat specialist- also known as the White Death.

Iga Raiko is the oldest of her sisters, and graduated at the age of ten, second of her class of kunoichi, third overall. Her scores were well rounded, and her specialization as a Long-distance Heavy Support ninja would make little sense without referencing her psychological profile. While her teamwork is exemplary, Iga Raiko prefers to keep a long distance between herself and the world around her, making her specialization in kyujutsu a logical decision on her part. She became a chunin a year after her induction to the Genin Corps and assignment to the Oinin Corps. She excels in tracking, stealth, and silent take-downs, which is surprising considering her weapon of choice, and her reliance on the color red to differentiate her from her sisters. Further, it is noted that while her bow and arrows are her main method of fighting, she is quite skilled in the use of twin butterfly blades, and the Iga Clan style of Yama-Hitsuji Ken. She is nicknamed "Akachou", and is generally considered the smartest of her sisters due to her habit of trouncing the Nara head and his heir in Go. She has the backing of the currently active Ino-Shika-Chou trio, who have always specialized in Capture, Assasination, and Sabotage; the current generation of the trio has a very good, very clean record of success.

Iga Kirara is the oddest of her sisters. It is noted in her file that the only times she ever actually physically attended the academy was during the entrance ceremony, during year end exams, and during the final exam. She graduated the academy first in her class of kunoichi and second in her class overall. During her tenure as a chunin, Iga-san has been known to throw herself off of tall structures- both natural and man-made. She claims it is a form of training, and as she has passed all of her psychological evaluations, there is little that can be done to dispute her claims. The Iga clan's sealed genjutsu-ninjutsu technique known as "Razor Whirlwind" is a specialty of hers. She also uses a style of taijutsu that focuses on aerial leg techniques. She is nicknamed "Aochou" for her over-large uchikake, which she is never seen publically without; it's long, furisode-style sleeves give her the profile of a butterfly. Its winter-pattern of embroidered white bamboo on sky blue ground painted with darker blue bamboo wax resist, which she wears in all seasons, has gained her the reputation of being an eccentric. She specializes in Espionage, Assassination, and Tactical Explosives. She has the backing of Team 18, consisting of Inuzuka Tsume, Aburame Shibi, and Hyuuga Hizashi. While Team 18 has not been fielded in it's entirety since the Second World War, it still has the highest rate of mission completion for all teams specializing in Tracking, Hunting, and Retrieval.

Iga Yayoi is the prospective head of the Iga clan. Refer to the Iga entry in the Clan files for more information on the rules of succession within the Iga clan. She graduated third in her class of kunoichi, third overall. She has been apprenticed under Senju Tsunade since she became a genin, and is currently the senior apprentice under her; refer to the files on Uchiha Itachi, Nanashi Shizune. She is known for using senbon and bo shuriken with exclusive and lethal accuracy. She is also known for being one of the best genjutsu users in any generation, much less her own; the only challenger she may have for the mastery of the skill is Yuuhi Kurenai. Uchiha Itachi, while known to be an able and slippery user of genjutsu, has admitted that Iga Yayoi outstrips his skill by a large margin. She is well liked by her peers, and has incapacitated the entire active roster of ANBU at least once for, in her words, "Medical Concerns". Her usual target is Neko, who has shown a marked lack of personal concern when applied to medical matters. She has incapacitated Neko no less than thirty times. She has not been reprimanded for this, as her methods have never been the same twice, Neko has not lodged a complaint, and Neko always does need medical treatment before Iga Yayoi forces the issue. She is nicknamed "Kiichou", not because of her prolific use of Daiken, a common poison that is always bright yellow in its base state, but because of her genuinely sunny, happy disposition. Iga Yayoi specializes in Psychological Medicine, and has the most field experience in its use. She has the backing of Combat Cell 4, composed of Yuuhi Kurenai and Uroko Kurama, the so called "Mind Break Twins". No record exists of their being fielded, as publically having a team dedicated to Infiltration, Retrieval, and Assassination is not plausibly deniable in the event of… unfortunate circumstances.

The files are very dry reading, but they shed light on what can, and can't, be determined by an impartial watcher. I know that Iga Yayoi and Uchiha Itachi have something between them- some sweet, delicate thing, just now on the cusp of blooming. I know that Iga Raiko is, for lack of a better phrase, the dumbass of her sisters. I know that Iga Kirara is significantly stranger than can be described on paper. I know that Uchiha Shisui feels inferior to his cousins and his housemates- that's why he pushed himself so hard. I know that Uchiha Itachi became a medic because he's a genuine pacifist.

I know that these next Jonin exams are going to be the most interesting I've gotten to preside over. Hell, I might even pass those jumped up little shits.

Kushina's rubbing off on me…


	60. Defiant

In defiance of all odds, I became a successful, retired, ANBU Saboteur. It's strange- I thought if I became something impossible, I'd finally feel… important. Better, than my cousin. It doesn't work like that.

Yayoi-chan punched me out when I told her that- she hit me so hard I was still seeing stars the next day. When I came to, she told me that the only thing anyone could ever reasonably ask of me was to be the best version of myself- the best me I could ever be.

She told me that the best way to defy the odds was to be myself- to not let myself become beholden to an ideal that was, above all other things, not real. Itachi is not superhuman. He is, above all things, just a boy- he is, despite everything, just a boy given a man's job.

This is a job for men and women, not children- not us. Shinobi- it's a job. Not a superhuman ideal, not something to strive to become- a job. Just something a person does.

People become ninjas to make their parents proud, to feel better about themselves, to be- special. But it's a job, and it takes things from people- and all it gives you in this physical world is money. Money that can't buy back whatever the job takes, more often than not.

This job took my sense of self-worth. It took Itachi's peace of heart and mind. It took Raiko's dreams. It took Kirara's freedom. It took Yayoi's love. It'll take something from Sasuke- it hasn't yet, because he's not even in the academy yet. But it'll take something from him. It takes something from everyone.

Money can't buy it back- that's all you get from the job. Yayoi told me that, that the only thing to do, the only way to possibly get what the job took from me is to… take it back. Defy the job, and take back what it took from you.

That's why she punched me and told me to figure out how to be worth something. That's why Itachi is trying to make a division of ANBU devoted to medicine. That's why Raiko sings every time someone asks her, writes songs in a book lined with rows of six-lined something's, plays a gottan and sings like an angel every chance she can. That's why Kirara jumps off of everything she can, every building, every bridge, every tree- makes kites and dissects dead birds, sews beautiful embroidered kimono and always wears a blue and white uchikake even though she's not on stage and not getting married. It's why Yayoi is friends with Itachi, still- why she always makes him go to the doctor and get himself checked out, why she traps him with needles and genjutsu and drags his ass to their shishou.

Defiance in this job is as simple as remaining human in a world that demands you be inhumane.


	61. Powder

Raiko wants to know what kind of flash and touch powders can be used by her with a minimum amount of risk. We're all in agreement that we wouldn't need the backing of at least two jonin if we weren't going to fight them- and since Raiko's pretty sure she's going to be fighting the Ino-Shika-Chou, she needs a way to make a lot of light.

In the Iga library, there is an entry in the book "Tactical Suprises". It references something called a "flashbang"; there is no entry anywhere in the library about flashbangs. However, in TS, there is an explanation of what a flashbang does- "a blinding flash of light and an intensely loud noise"- and I intend to make workable exploding tags with this result. In the event my research does not produce a workable result by the end of the year, when the exams are to be held, I will also be researching various kinds of fireworks. So far, Tiger's Fire, Diadem, and Waterfall variations look to be the most useful in her upcoming battles; flares are also showing a significant amount of promise.

As an aside, I'm quite taken with the idea of "a range of explosive weapons that only rely on the exothermic reaction of an explosive material to provide an extremely sudden and violent release of energy. Detonations inflict damage principally through ground- and atmosphere-transmitted mechanical stress, the impact and penetration of pressure-driven projectiles, pressure damage, and explosion-generated effects." I wonder what, exactly, I can add to a bomb to make it even more deadly than before- it seems like a great equalizer.

Yayoi just told me to stop laughing so loudly or at least close the door. She's studying animal psychology, for some reason. Oooh- smoke bombs!


	62. Grateful

I've been noticing that Shikamaru-chibi has gotten much better at not giving away his intentions- his plans are still entirely predictable, but they're also much better overall. Still. Shikamaru-chibi is a three year old boy. And he's made a mistake.

I will now show him just how much of a mistake he's made.

When I place my black stone, his ears go bright, violent red. Got you, little fawn.

"Thank you."

"Shikaku-sama?"

"For doing this- you haven't needed to come down and fight the sheep for months, and you didn't have to play with him so often."

"Children thrive best in environments that are structured and stable. I can't exactly offer him a stable environment- but I know how structure works. I come to the Nara premises on the assumption that there will be sheep for me to pummel; I play a game with Shikamaru-chibi as a respite from punching the overwhelming amounts of stupid out of my clan's irrepressible rams. And you, Shikaku-sama, cultivate particularly delicious varieties of mushroom in fields near your house- not so near as to make the rams that come to eat the mushrooms a danger to Shikamaru-chibi, yet not so far as to make the task of checking on the fields more troublesome than any number of other mildly troublesome things you do every day."

"Troublesome."

"Hmhm. Shikamaru-chibi? Are you alright?"

"Yes!"

"Hm. Do you want to-?"

"No. I will play until the end!"

"Alright."

He's going to lose by a mere two points. I'm not entirely sure why Akimichi-sama and Yamanka-sama are here too, watching me play Shikamaru-chibi. The tea is nice. Yoshino-san makes lovely jasmine.

Shikamaru-chibi did indeed lose by two points. He's now slumped on his side, groaning.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No!"

"Hmmm?"

"…yes…"

"Hmhm. Your mistake was in joseki."

He finds it not long after I point it out. Shikaku-sama is staring intently at the goban, looking stumped, then increasingly astonished. Yamanka-sama's face is odd- it's like his eyebrows are trying to hide in his hair. Akimichi-sama is grinning.

I drink my tea and discuss the game with Shikamaru-chibi. He looks so proud of his two-point loss- I hardly have the heart to tell him he'd have lost so badly against either of my sisters he'd have lost all joy in the game, even now. I'll have to start moving him towards visualizing the board and playing blind soon.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Agreeing to back me as a potential jonin."

"Ah. Well. Far be it to deny Konoha such an interesting mind. It'll be interesting to see if your Go skills translate to the battlefield."

"Hmm. You do realize that my sisters have soundly defeated me every time we play, right?"

"What, both of them?"

"Oh yes. We usually try to get draws in all three games, but it's hard to do simultaneously."

"…I have no chance of beating you, do I?"

"There's a reason I give you a ten stone handicap, Shika-chibi."

Shikamaru-chibi has the most adorable pout. Shikaku-sama looks a little… odd. I don't know what that expression is, exactly- did he not realize I always give his son such a huge advantage every game? Akimichi-sama is now guffawing. Yamanka-sama has his head in his hands, and his shoulders are shaking.

"I've been to your house though- you do not have gobans at all."

"Well, no. We usually play the games in our heads, and put them down on gokifu to tally the points up- I've yet to draw with both my sister's at the same time. Or beat them, for that matter."

"Do you think… do you think- nevermind."

"Don't worry, Shika-chibi. When I think you're ready, I'll let you get beat like a drum by my sisters too- honestly, after the exams, if I advance or not, I'll bring them over and you can play against all three of us."

"At once?"

"If you want."

The gleeful anticipation on Shikamaru-chibi's face is even cuter than his pout. It's an interesting counterpoint to the guffaws, cackling, and despairing groans coming from the three adult men on the inner porch- since the weather's gotten so nice- but fall in Konoha is always nice- Shikamaru-chibi and I have been playing on the outer porch. It's really nice- the sun falls softly, here, somehow.

We finish discussing the game, and then I have to punch the stupid out of no less than ten fully grown, but still moronic, rams. In between the actions of putting them on my shoulders and saying goodbye to Shikamaru-chibi, the three men on the inner porch have stopped making strange noises and are now staring at me strangely.

I'm not sure why. Men are strange, strange beasts.


End file.
